Family Guy

Family Guy "Hell Comes to Quahog" Quotes

Peter: Hmm...I'm still not sure.
Car Salesman: Did I mention the tank is a tank?
Peter: Sold!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Geez Meg, you ruined my good time! Just like basic cable.
(flashback)
TV: We now return to "Showgirls"...
Peter: Yay!
TV:...On TBS.
Peter: Aww...
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim Caplan: Hi there, can I help you folks?
Peter: Yeah, uh, my daughter is looking for a car that goes with her personality.
Stewie: Yes, are the new bulimic cutting mobiles in yet?
 • Rating: Unrated

Stewie: Spit on me.
(Brian spits on him)
Stewie: (sighs) That's nice. Now tell me I'm scum.
Brian: How will that cool you off?
Stewie: Hmmm?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Now I may be an idiot, but there's one thing I am not sir, and that sir, is an idiot.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Man Driving Hummer: (Watching "Madagascar") Dude, those animals are so f***ing funny! They make me want to merge without looking!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Brian: Well it seems everything worked out for the best, Meg.
Peter: (Blows rasberry)
Chris: Ha!Ha!Haa! Meg!
Peter: (Blows raspberry)
Chris: Meg!
Peter: (Blows raspberry)
Chris: Meg!
Peter: (Rasberry noise without him sticking out his tongue) ...Pardon me. (gets up and walk away)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(After running over Joe with the tank)
Peter: Joe, my god what happened?
Joe: You just ran over me you bastard! I don't know where you got that thing, but I'm impounding it!
Peter: Heheheh look at you, you look like a half-empty toothpaste.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joe: OH YES!!! I slam it, you can suck it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Who's sober enough to drive?
(No one answers.)
Peter: Ok, who's drunk, but that special kind of drunk where you're a better driver because you know you're drunk, you know the kind of drunk where you probably shouldn't drive, but you do anyways because, I mean come on, you got to get your car home, right? I mean what do they expect me do, take a bus? Is that what they want? For me to take a bus? Well screw that! You take a bus.
Cleveland: I'm that kind of drunk.
Peter: (Throws keys to Cleveland) Shotgun!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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