Lois: I don't even know what this is anymore!
Peter: It's a strip club that gives away free cookies.

She just wrote "vagina" on her boobs! That doesn't even make any sense!

Peter

Brian: Stewie what are you doing?
Stewie: Being awesome.

That was the right thing to do Peter.

Lois

Like Moses and his buddy who liked to collect seashells.

Peter

Peter's Wife's Cookies.

Peter

If you say it like that one more time, I'm going to drown you.

Brian

Could you get me some yaww-gurt?

Stewie

Vegetable, meat, meat, vegetable, meat.

Stewie

How far away are the stars?

Peter

Yes!

Cookie Monster

North Dakota, we're not even the best Dakota!

Peter

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

I forgot Yelp was a weapon for dumb people, you taught me something today Brian.

Stewie