Or you can pull the hose out of the bucket and let the hose run free.


There are gaps in my knowledge. This is hardly news.


The secret to happiness is burying all your true feelings and living a life of bland compromise.


I love putting my hands down my pants when I'm on drugs.


And once again a Heavy Flow has ruined another lady's evening.

Wrestling Announcer

The only way to settle a family dispute is in the cage.


Meg: Trust me, I know more about getting bullied than anyone.
Peter: You do? How?

Can't you just go out there and pretend to have a good time?


Oh, my God! His chin does kinda look like nuts!


Karen Griffin: I'm just joshing, kid. Auntie's not a biscuit bumper.
Meg: I'm not either.

You're like all the worst parts of a girlfriend.


There's nothing worse than grocery shopping the day before Thanksgiving.


Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Stewie: Hey, you have a tattoo.
Brian: No I don't.
Stewie: Is that Ziggy? Is that a Ziggy tattoo
Brian: Aw, geez.
Stewie: Why do you have a Ziggy tattoo
Brian: I just to used think he was kind of funny. We should get to the hospital.