Family Guy Quotes
TV is how stupid losers spend their time.Peter
We're a team like fish and chips and fat guys.Quagmire
I can't go to jail. They'll razz me good on account of my belly.Peter
If cellphones worked, every movie would be two minutes long.Quagmire
What if God is a serial killer? He lowers the average lifespan of humans to 65.Peter
I'm as creative as the first spider to spin a web.Peter
Brian: OMG, Stewie. What are you doing in the toilet with the lid closed?
Stewie: Ted R. says this is where a piece of crap has to live.
It's so salty and chunky where you don't want it to be.Stewie
Hey, Meg, I like your new boyfriend. Every pot finds a lid, huh?Peter
So I was wondering why this tampon commerical was so long, until I realized it was a rerun of Sex and The CityBrian
We act like we didn't take a lot from The Simpsons, but we took a lot from The Simpsons.Peter
Stand up is so 20 years ago. Twitter's only three years ago.Stewie