Japanese Guy #1: "Hey you want to go watch a movie?"
Japanese Guy #2: "Nah we're Japanese...let's go watch a schoolgirl bang an octopus!"

"I was 18 and my body was firm from push-ups and sit-ups..."


Peter: "I'M Back Bush?"
Quagmire: "This can't be a surprise to you, Peter."
Peter: "Yea, I knew, I just didn't know you knew!"

"I'm not afraid to stand up to friends. Just ask Spartacus!"


"You don't now how smooth Quagmire is...he's like a vagician!"


Teen Choice Awards Announcer: "Now your host: Lady Hair Douche-ton!"

Peter: "And tell the African-American elevator employee that he can stop wearing gloves."
Carter: "Why don't you just tell him that he can sleep with my wife too!"

"Don't care. No time for FB, it's all about SO."

Sex Offender

"Yes, the penis one."


Carter: "Hey Quandry."
Quagmire: "No, no it's Quagmire."

"Sorry dude. Super Death. You're done."

Super Death

"No worries. Now I can work at Hot Topic and make people sick as I ring up their purchases."


Family Guy Season 10 Quotes

Stewie: "Brian, if I take up roller derby what od you think my name should be? Bruisin' B. Anthony, Alicia Sleaze, or Quo Hag?"
Brian: "How about Harlot O'Scara?"
Stewie: "You dick, that's awesome."

"Keith Urban...Brett Favre....William H. Macy?"