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Family-guy

Billy: Don't take this the wrong way, but have you actually got a penis?
Peter: Yes.
Billy: Where... where is it?
Peter: It's in there.
Billy: Are you sure, so it's like all snuffled up in there is it?
Peter: Oh, the hell with this... Lois, get the ruler. We're measuring again, and this time, I decide where the base is.

Lindsey [dressed as Lois]" Thanks for buying me these clothes, Glenn.
Quagmire: You're welcome. [to Mort, also dressed as Lois] And you're dismissed.
Mort: Do I still get to keep the twenty?

Stewie: Are they not seein' this?
Brian: I know, it's kinda creepy. It's almost like he's dating Lois.
Stewie: Yeah - looks like somebody's getting a little Oedipussy.
Brian: Can we say that?
Stewie: Just did.

We now return to Dracula...in San Francisco

Blasphemy! Heresy! Sodomy!

"Also arriving is my overprotective boyfriend, who is suspicious when I'm called into work late at night, even though I've been a reporter for years, Tyrone."

Tricia Takanawa

"Hey Lois, that not-Stewie kid fell over."

Peter

"Look at them, they're getting along like Billy Bob Thornton and his cat!"

Lois

"Kevin Smith because he's too fat to ride on the plane!"

Stewie
Displaying quotes 46 - 54 of 105 in total