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Family-guy

I don't know who you are, I don't know what you want. But what I do have is a particular lack of skills. I will never be able to find you.

Peter

Alright Meg, I need you to listen to me very carefully. Panic. Pay no attention to detail. Let your mind race. Take short, rapid breaths. Then hide under the bed, but leave two of your feet sticking out.

Peter

Ruth: Hey, you wanna dance around like morons to loud music?
Meg: I'll be right back! I've been holding in a dump since America.

Please do not be suspicious that I am at the airport with no baggage whatsoever.

French Kidnapper

Stewie: So, I've always been about world domination. What the hell do you think I was talking about when I said "Victory shall be mine!"
Brian: You have not said that in a very long time.
Stewie: Well, I'm back on it.

Peter: I mean, who says the body next to you has to be male or female? Or whatever!
Quagmire: Or alive!
Peter: Yeah! Well, no. But yeah!

I bought that to kill the women of Sex and the City, but time seems to be doing that for me!

Penelope

You have a pop-up version of the Unabomber's Manifesto?

Stewie

Believe it or not, men like to cuddle. Even cold, unfeeling men like Charles Bronson.

Peter
Displaying quotes 28 - 36 of 105 in total