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If God wanted me to not sleep with my wife, he'd make me John Travolta!Peter
- Permalink: If God wanted me to not sleep with my wife, he'd make me John Tr...
Marital concerns continue to bedevil me.Peter
- Permalink: Marital concerns continue to bedevil me.
Who's handling their Charlie St. Cloud DVD all the time?Stewie
- Permalink: Who's handling their Charlie St. Cloud DVD all the time?
Brian: Peter, what are you doing?
Peter: I'm not goin' to family night - my agreeing with Lois was just pure theater. Come on, we're jumpin' off the roof.
Brian: Are you insane? We'll kill ourselves!
Peter: Don't worry, we can fly! I got this pixie dust from a magic fairy - either that or it's speed I got from a transvestite at a diner. [noise of loud sniffing] Agh! It's the speed! It's the speed from the diner!
Brian: Peter, let go of me! Agghâ€”! [he and Peter belly flop to front porch] Dammit!
- Permalink: Peter, what are you doing? I'm not goin' to family night - my...
Peter: I put our family on the map tonight. No longer will we be just those faceless nobodys who brought the bird flu to Quahog.
Lois: You know, there's something seriously wrong with the man who always puts his friends over his family.
Brian: Come on, Lois, I think you're overreacting. What's so wrong about a guy hanging out with his buddies?
Lois: Buddies? You're one of his buddies?
Brian: Yeah, and you know why? 'Cause I don't try to tell what he can and can't do.
Lois: Oh, please, Brian. You're just two people living in the same house. If you didn't, you'd never hang out with each other in a million years. He owns you. You're his property.
- Permalink: I put our family on the map tonight. No longer will we be just t...
Lois: How could you do this? You have a family!
Peter: For once, could you visit me in jail and not criticize me?
- Permalink: How could you do this? You have a family! For once, could you ...
Lois: So, Billy. I hope the couch was alright.
Billy: Yeah. A lot better than the floor. And I should know because I went down on the floor, thinking it was gonna be a lot better than the couch.
- Permalink: So, Billy. I hope the couch was alright. Yeah. A lot better th...
Anyway, I'm off to read Meg's diary. I've only been here one night, but I get the sense we all dislike Meg.Billy
- Permalink: Anyway, I'm off to read Meg's diary. I've only been here one nig...
Peter: I gotta take a bath. [Billy is watching him]
Billy: Go on then. We're both men.
Peter: Well.... alright I guess.
Billy: There you go... [Peter gets naked and Billy starts laughing] ...look at that? What is th... WOAH Solar eclipse blocking the sun, do not look directly at it. [laughs again]
Peter: What... what, what, what the hell... what are you doing?
Billy: I'm just making a comment... ummm... need to know something. Do you hear the word "Morbidly" a lot?
- Permalink: I gotta take a bath. Go on then. We're both men. Well.... a...
Billy: Don't take this the wrong way, but have you actually got a penis?
Billy: Where... where is it?
Peter: It's in there.
Billy: Are you sure, so it's like all snuffled up in there is it?
Peter: Oh, the hell with this... Lois, get the ruler. We're measuring again, and this time, I decide where the base is.
- Permalink: Don't take this the wrong way, but have you actually got a penis...
Lindsey [dressed as Lois]" Thanks for buying me these clothes, Glenn.
Quagmire: You're welcome. [to Mort, also dressed as Lois] And you're dismissed.
Mort: Do I still get to keep the twenty?
- Permalink: Lindsey Thanks for buying me these clothes, Glenn. You're wel...
Stewie: Are they not seein' this?
Brian: I know, it's kinda creepy. It's almost like he's dating Lois.
Stewie: Yeah - looks like somebody's getting a little Oedipussy.
Brian: Can we say that?
Stewie: Just did.
- Permalink: Are they not seein' this? I know, it's kinda creepy. It's almo...