Family Guy

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Brian [at mom's funeral]: Say something.
Stewie: What?
Brian: Just say something please.
Stewie: For god's sake. Um... "Yea, and God said on to Abraham, 'You will kill your son Isaac'. And Abraham said, 'I can't hear you, You'll have to speak into the microphone.' And God said, 'Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better? Check, Check, Check. Jerry pull the high end out I'm, getting some hiss back here.'"
Brian: Say something about my mother!
Stewie: Oh yes, I'm sorry. I never knew Biscuit as a Dog, but I did know her as a table. She was sturdy, all four legs the same length...
Brian: Thanks. That's enough.
Stewie: Yes. Requiem in Terra Pax, and so forth. Amen

Chris: Okay, Meg. I'm thinking of another word. This time it's definitely not kitty. Can you guess what it is?
Meg: Is it kitty?
Chris: Ahh! Get out of my head! Get out of my head?

Brian: Listen kid, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.
Stewie: Ugh, you're not coming out of the closet, are you? Why does everyone always come out to me?

Betty: Is that Brian? Oh, and you brought a little friend. Well, I bet you're a hungry little fella.
Stewie: Yes, I bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull. Now change me!

Peter: Woah! Is that really the blood of Christ?
Priest: Yes.
Peter: Man, that guy must have been wasted 24 hours a day, huh?

There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore

Stewie

You know, some people think that dandelions are weeds, but, you know, I always think, who the hell decided tulips were so great?

Peter

Meg: That's it, I want those cameras off!
Chris: Fourth wall, You're breaking the fourth wall!

Hot Meg: Hi Chris.
Chris: Oh my God! You know my name?

Are you Kate Moss? For someone with no breasts, you've done very well for yourself. Good for you.

Lois

Antonio: The painting. I must have it for my studio in Soho. I'll give you five thousand dollars. What do you say?
Peter: I say, "I love you, ya freakin' son of mine. I got five thousand bucks for that painting you gave me."
Chris: But dad, I painted that just for you.
Peter: Don't feel bad, Chris, I didn't even want it

Lois: A woman is not an object.
Peter: Your mother is right, son. Listen to what it says.
Lois: Peter!

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 183 in total

Family Guy Season 2 Quotes

Coco: You simply must join us in a game of baccarat.
Peter: Right baccarat atcha!

If I ever go back to Quahog, it'll be just so that I can poke poor people with a stick!

Chris