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Chandler: (About Marcel) How can he be an adult already?
Ross: I know. One day he's this little thing. Then he's this little thing that I can't get off my leg.

Casting Director: Name?
Joey: Holden McGroin.

Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said you only had to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: Still, it's just such reckless spending.
Ross: I think when somebody steals your credit card they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.

Joey: How can you get a monkey into a zoo?
Chandler: I know that one! No, wait. That's Popes into a Volkswagen.

Monica: I don't know what I'm going to do without you! Who's going to crash with me the embassy parties? Who is going take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty five women, and you're worried who is going to take you to the Big Apple Circus?!
Monica: Not worried, just wondering.

(On the phone) Hi. Yes. This is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering if you could tell me what they were.

Monica

Chandler: Joe... Joe... Joe... Stalin?
Joey: Stalin! Stalin. Do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me!
Joey: Joe Stalin. You know, that's pretty good!
Chandler: Hey, you know, you might wanna try Joseph.
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!

Joey: Phoebe, what do you think a good stage name for me would be?
Phoebe: Flame Boy.

(Dramatically) It's madness, madness, I tell you! For the love of God, Monica, don't do it! (In her normal voice) Thank you.

Phoebe

Joey: You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?!
Chandler: You're kidding!
Joey: Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You'd think you would've known that!
Chandler: Ya know, you'd think I would have.

Ross: (About Marcel's humping) You'd think you guys would be just a little more understanding, you know?
Phoebe: I know. But we're not.

Monica: I'm going to tap class.
Rachel: What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card?
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! Okay, Monica, ya know what, honey? You're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.

Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 469 in total

Friends Season 1 Quotes

Chandler: Men are here!
Joey: We make fire! Cook meat!
Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back!

Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.