Friends

Friends Season 1 Quotes (Page 7)

Season 1 Episode 19: "The One Where the Monkey Gets Away"

Ross: All right, I want my monkey.
Luisa: No!
Rachel: Oh, come on, Luisa!
Luisa: Sorry, prom queen.
Ross: (To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't have been fat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 18: "The One with All the Poker"

Rachel: Hmmm, it's so typical: 'Ooh... I'm a man, ooh... I have a penis, ooh... I have to win money to observe my power over women.'
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: Hey, you know what I just realised? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J'. Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: Ha, haha.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: (After winning a hand of poker. Sing-song to Ross) I have got your money, and you'll never see it, and your fly's still open.
(Pause)
Rachel: Ha, I made you look.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh. yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no. I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Phoebe: Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Monica: Let's play for real. High stakes, big bucks.
Ross: Are you sure, because Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: I think you should know, this money is cursed.
Joey: Huh?
Phoebe: Yeah, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler: I'll take it, bad things happen to me anyway. At least this way I can break them up with a movie.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: Your money's mine, Green.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: How come you guys never play poker with us?
Phoebe:Yeah is that some kind of guy thing? Like some sexist guy thing? Like it's poker so only guys can play?
Ross: No, women are welcome to play.
Phoebe: So it's like some kind of... it's some kind of... Okay, what is it?
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, okay? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called "Excuse me..."
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: (Reading Rachel's mail) Wow!
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Your Visa bill is huge!
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
Phoebe: About how good your cards were.
Joey: I was bluffing.
Phoebe: Aha! And what is bluffing? Is it not another word for lying?
 • Rating: Unrated

Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Monica: Hell no, we'll pay!
Phoebe: Okay, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: That was not an incident! I was gesturing, and the plate slipped out of my hand.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 17: "The One with Two Parts (2)"

Monica: (Pretending to be Rachel) See, I was supposed to get married, but I left the guy at the altar. Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish but, hey, that's me!
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: (Yelling) Rach, are these your condoms?
Rachel: What? Sorry, that's Monica. She's drunk again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: So you feel like a dad yet?
Ross: No. Why?
Chandler: Hey come on, you came through. You did what you had to do. That is very "dad."
 • Rating: Unrated

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