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I'm a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch, which means one thing. I have awesome gaydar.


I have so much more free time now that there are four hands polishing all of my fruit.


At this school the thing that makes you different is the thing that people use to crush your spirit.


I'm sure that Sam has been to the doctor's office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reductions.


Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel has a bit of a schnoz. I mean I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her.


Rachel: Are you suggesting I get a nose job?
Doctor: You're sixteen right? That's when I gave my daughters theirs. It's like a right of passage for Jewish girls.

It's booty camp time!


Will: What do you think of my taffy plan to raise money for Detroit
Holly: I think its as terrible has the word Brainiac. Listen, you let that crazy ex-wife of yours mess with your brain and now you think you can't dream.
Will: What should we do then?
Holly: A night of neglect.
Will: That actually sounds like my life.

Kurt Hummel Is Back At McKinley!

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