How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Quotes
Robin: Lily, I need a dress!
Lily: You're going? That's awesome! Oh, my God, four days to find a dress?
Robin: I know, it's a suicide mission!
Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out and then, well feed them to you like grapes!
Barney: Wait, my eyes or my testicles?
Lily: One of each!
Ted: Okay, guys, I gotta say something, I think my feelings for Robin may be resurfacing.
Lily: Oh, please, they were buried in a shallow grave
Don't beat yourself up. He'll be fine. I mean, the guy's like a billionaire. He can put his platinum card on a fishing line and win ten chicks hotter than youBarney
Marshall: Ok, I'm just saying that it's my wedding too and I should have a say in it.
Lily: But I'm the bride. So, I win.
Marshall: But I thought marriage is about two equal partners, sharing a life together.
Lily: Right but I'm the bride. So, I win
Robin: How fancy are we talking about here?
Ted: Oh, you gonna wanna bring your A-game.
Robin: Oh, I'll bring it. I'll bring it so hard, the bride's gonna look like a big white bag of crap.
No, no, no.... Listen to me, if I go to my wedding and the cake is not Tahitian vanilla, I will come down there and burn your little shop to the ground. Haha, do you wanna find out if I'm kidding?Claudia
Being in a couple is hard. And committing, making sacrifices, it's hard. But if it's the right person, then it's easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she's all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest things in the world. And if it's not like that, then she's not the one. I'm sorryMarshall
Ted [seeing Robin in her dress]: Still wow.
Robin: Wow yourself. Look who else brought it.
Ted: Oh, yeah. I thought about leaving it at home, but I figured, I don't want to get there and realize I need it and have to go all the way back to get it, so yeah, I brought it
I mean seriously, Claudia and Stuart? I mean I have hooked up with the odd lass who is beneath my level of attractiveness... but... you know I was drunk. There is no way Claudia has been drunk for three yearsBarney
Oh please, we all know how this movie ends. Ted falls in love. Love kicks Ted in the sprouts. Roll creditsMarshall
Marshall: So you admit it, the groom should have an equal say.
Lily: Oh, yeah, sure, on the stupid stuff, like who comes.
Marshall: So I can invite whoever I want.
Lily: Sure, there's plenty of room in the woods