How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 5 Episode 22: "Robots vs. Wrestlers"

Barney: [to Ted] Marisa Heller ... she sounds hot. Describe. Face, hair, boobs? Start with boobs.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Hey, Marisa Heller! Barney Stinson. Do you remember me? We met at a convention for bird owners.
Marisa: That's not possible.
Barney: Wicker lovers.
Marisa: No.
Barney: Stinson out!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Barney: I've got five tickets to Robots vs. Wrestlers!
Ted: That is awesome!
Barney: You've heard of Robots vs. Wrestlers?
Marshall: Not at all!
Ted: But we're assuming it's some sort of sporting event putting robots ... against wrestlers!
Barney: That's exactly what it is!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 21: "Twin Beds"

Don: I bad for any woman with the kind of low self-esteem that would actually date a guy like that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: [drunk, on phone] Hey Robin, it's Teddy Bear. Need a little honey? Rawwwr.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: [drunk, on phone] Hey Robin, it's Barn Door. Guess what, I'm open!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Our new sleeping arrangement will only bring us closer together. Now get out of my bed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: I stand by what I did. It was bold and romantic.
Ted: You soiled yourself from both ends of your body.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Barney: [after reading his letter] There's just a bunch of drawings of boobs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Don: Guys, I came to apologize. I overreacted.
Barney: It's okay. We said some very hurtful things.
Don: No you didn't.
Barney: Right, that was after you left.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: I must have Robin back.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: I think we should get separate beds.
Marshall: YES! A mini-fridge! And separate beds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marshall: We slept for 18 hours.
Lily: We lost four pre-paid meals.
Marshall: I lost 11 pounds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: You're moving in with him?
Robin: I'm considering it.
Barney: You're considering it? You barely know him! Plus, he's a loser with a dead end job!
Robin: We have the same job.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: So I'm banging this Portuguese contortionist, right, and she's so flexible that at one point she was both on top of me AND underneath me. Up top AND down low! Who needs drinks?
Ted: [to Don] He means well ... actually I'm not sure if that's true.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Ted: I didn't know the Jets had new costumes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 20: "Home Wreckers"

Clint: But you have your own sexual memories with your mom, don't you? Exiting her womb, receiving her milk. You get me, don't you.
Ted: Please don't.
 • Rating: Unrated

Virginia: I can't believe I am with that man.
Ted: Mom, it's okay. You don't have to settle. There are plenty of other-
Virginia: He's so COOL!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Clint: Your mother is a very erotic woman.
Ted: Please don't.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: [repeated line] The only question ... was I drunk, or a kid?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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