How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes
Ted: Robin, you should get the slap, you're a great slapper. In fact, I want to study slapping under your tutelage. I want to be your slaprentice.
Robin: Don't sell yourself short there, Teddy, you're a slapping rock star. Your name should be Eric Slapton.
Robin: You only have one slap left are you sure you want to use it today?
Marshall: I figured life is short, slape diem.
Robin: Look at me, I've sworn off relationships.
Marshall: She is so about to get married.
Ted: I gotta work on my toast.
Marshall: I gotta make sure my tux fits!
Robin: I will bang your heads together like coconuts.
Claire: So ... why is he wearing the scuba gear?
Marshall: We don't know, Claire. And it's killing us! It's killing us!
Barney: See the blonde over there by the bar? Tizzarget acquizzired!
Robin: Barney, don't do this ...
Barney: Oh, give it a rest, pest.
Girl: Really, a genie comes out of it?
Barney: Only if you rub it hard enough.
Barney: I think we all know who's responsible for this.
Lily: Yes we do.
Barney: Al Qaeda.
Lily: No, you idiot. It was me.
Barney: YOU sonofabitch!!!
Marshall: You know how many times I've gone looking for frozen waffles in the freezer but there are none?
Robin: Thousands?
Marshall: Millions.
Barney: [narrating] All you have to walk up to every single girl and say "He's not coming."
Girl: What are you talking about?
Barney: Never mind.
The Lorenzo van Matterhorn will be my triumphant return to the stage! Or, you know, the bed. Actually, my bed is kind of a stage. I could put a platform underneath, make it a real production ...
Barney
Another book! We got ... Stephen King over here!
Marshall
Cheap tricks? Not one of these is a cheap trick! [pauses] Well, except for the Cheap Trick.
Barney
