How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Quotes
Ted: Barney, are you wearing sweat pants?
Barney: Maybe, but they're Armani!
We're kind of on a double date with Pey and Shey, and we wouldn't want you guys to feel like a fifth and sixth wheel
Lily [to Robin and Barney]
Barney: The US Navy discovered aliens at the bottom of the ocean and for reasons I can't explain, they selected Robin and I to lead the expedition
Lily: That sounds like stuff you say to women when you're trying to get rid of them
Marshall: That's exactly what is sounds like, but if it's true that sounds totally awesome
Ted, you mentioned that you lived upstairs. She saw that tweed jacket which basically says you're not interested in nor probably even capable of having sex and she thought, hey, free lodging
Barney
Random Girl: How's grading?
Ted: You just gotta make it fun, every time I see a grammatical error, I do a shot. Right now I'm smashed and I blame the public school system.
Ahh tweed, the official fabric of the eunuch
Barney
I've seen barney try really hard to get women, I've seen barney try really hard to get rid of women, but I've never seen barney try so hard to keep a woman
Ted [to Robin]
When you date someone it's like you're taking a class in them and when you break up it's like all that knowledge is useless. It's the emotional equivalent of an English degree
Ted
Ted: Pop quiz. When robin is PMSing what kind of chocolate should youg et her?
Barney: Trick question. Get her butter scotch.
Ted: Correct. Why?
Barney: Butter scotch is to Canadian women what chocolate is to American women
I can't believe I'm taking sexual advice from Ted Mosby, that's like taking fashion advice from well... Ted Mosby
Barney
If you ever see this face, whatever you do, run and do not take a picture or she will punch you.. and you will cry.. for the third time... that night
Ted [about a picture of Robin with nostrils flaring]
Ted: You were like the worst student in the world, weren't you?
Barney: They said I AD...something... can we have class outside?
