How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Lily, at our apartment, you're the one who pees on the floor.

Marshall

Long story short I've been managing tours ever since and that dude high fives people with his face now.

Jerry

I still think about him in the shower.

Robin

Ted: OK Scherbatsky, you wanna tussle?
Robin: I'll tussle!
Ted: You wanna tussle?
Robin: Let's Tussle!
Ted: Marine Biologist.
Robin: Please no.

Ted this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here...don't ask you're not ready.

Barney

I am never gonna have closure. Closure doesn't exist.

Robin

OK, if you were new in town and just ingested an eighth of a sandwich where would you go?

Robin

I want to be confused with you.

Barney

Lily: Scooby, we're in our thirties, we don't smoke sandwiches anymore.
Ted: Sandwich brownies?
Lily: OK!

Barney: Never ever meet a girl's parents.
Ted: Not even if she is hot?
Barney: Not even if her mom's hot?

Barney: The N'Sync concert?
Ted: 1998 Cleveland's Agora Theater, front row, caught JC's shirt, what else you got

Marshall: You got nothing on me.
Barney: The calzone?
Marshall: Checkmate.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 256 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Quotes

Robin: Ted, the future is scary. But you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. Yes, it's tempting...
Barney: But it's a mistake.

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted