How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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You've been pork free so long you're practically kosher.

Barney

She had a nice face, her booty was in place, but Barney don't chase.

Barney

She was a really great Lazer Tag partner. She's tiny so she's allowed to push kids.

Barney

Desperation Day had come and gone and you have neither gone nor come.

Robin

So that's it? A couple of white Urkels offer you sausages and you're gone?

Robin

Umm, is it getting crowded in here, because I think there are two peas in this pod?

Barney

And she sticks the landing, why don't you start stretching and I'll be right back.

Barney

Barney: Please, you might as well be dog-earing a tear stained bridal magazine while wolfing down the box of chocolates you had delivered to yourself at work from your fiancé that no one has ever met.
Bev: Gerard is real!

Ted: They're actually called British Morning Socks.
Zoë: Don't get in your own way!

Mom I hate to be that guy, but I'm pretty sure it was hot pocket o'clock like ten minutes ago.

Marshall

February 13th, a magical night, where a Ten has the self esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a Two.

Barney

Whoa check out that one! Her body is a perfect X.

Barney
Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 256 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Quotes

Robin: Ted, the future is scary. But you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. Yes, it's tempting...
Barney: But it's a mistake.

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted