How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 6 Episode 13: "Bad News"

Marshall: My sperm is fine!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall's Dad: We love you no matter what. So why don't you get back in that bathroom, pretend you're in high school and "blow dry your hair."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: He's going to masturbate!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Tell him that I might not be able to give him a grandchild? I don't even know how to have that conversation.
Barney: I'll show you. Dad, uh there's something I need to tell you. It's going to come as a bit of a shock. You are speaking to the 2011 Tri County Laser Tag Co Champion.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: I'll give my dad a call after Dr. Stengal gives me the thumbs up.
Ted: Ew! He has to do that?
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Robin: I WISH I was the office slut.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Marshall: I'm freaking out, is there a chance I won't be able to have kids? I've been hit in the nuts a lot.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Barney: How you doing Lily? Should I have a boner?
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Lily: This is bad news; this is like a black cat walked through my uterus.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: How did you do it?
Barney: Oh god you found one of the cameras.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: We're doing it a lot.
Marshall: And everywhere. The kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, outside in your waiting - the kitchen.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 6 Episode 12: "False Positive"

Ted: No! Unacceptable! You are going to turn around, you're going to go home, get naked, lay together as man and wife, until Lily is great with child!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: I can't give this suit back, I glow in the dark. Ted, I finally glow in the dark!
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Marshall: Nursery is painted!
Lily: Blue? What if it's a girl?
Marshall: Damnit!
 • Rating: 2.8 / 5.0

Lily: There's an alien growing in my stomach that is going to explode out of my vagina!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: I'm taking the rest of my bonus to God's strip club.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Barney: Velour tracksuits! Remote control helicopters! Condoms! And last but not least there is a fleet of limos outside waiting to take us to...A STRIP CLUB! You get a lap dance! You get a lap dance! You're going to give me a lap dance! Everyone gets a lap dance!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: I'm pregnant.
Barney: I've never seen that woman before in my life! Sorry force of habit, congratulations!
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Barney: I am Mr. Charity. I frequently sleep with sixes, chubsters, over thirty's. I am the Bill and Melinda Gates of the sympathy bang.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Barney: A Yuletide riddle. What is my second favorite word that begins with B-O-N?
Ted: Bon Jovi?
Barney: What is my third favorite that begins with B-O-N? Buzzer... BONUS!
 • Rating: 4.2 / 5.0

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