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How-i-met-your-mother

Nora: I'm sorry I've been trying not to stare at your chest all night.
Barney: Hahaha, what's that like?

Cardiologist: What happened at 8:46 PM last night.?
Barney: Well let's see, Wheel of Fortune, naked push ups, naked chin ups... oh I was at dinner.

Never screw over a girl whose last name ends in a vowel, because she's got brothers.

Barney

Lily: Ooo Barney's got feelings for a girl.
Barney: Yeah, penis feelings!

And I thought Pompeii was smoking.

Barney

Who is this flower child and what has he done with my lion hearted friend Ted Mosby?

The Captain

Maritime Protocol demands physical retribution!

The Captain

Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.

Lily

With great penis comes great responsibility.

Barney

I'm Barney Stinson, I don't get smitten, I smite!

Barney

We're exes, we're probably due for a back slide, or we could just do it the normal way.

Barney

Lily: You should work at a carnival.
Barney: I tried; they're pretty strict with backgrounds.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 256 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Quotes

Robin: Ted, the future is scary. But you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. Yes, it's tempting...
Barney: But it's a mistake.

He has got to go, you need to be like you are the weakest link goodbye! Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art, didn't work for me. You're times up. I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the chateau. Your tour ends here. You've been chopped! You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your desert just didn't measure up. Sashay away! Give me your jacket and leave Hell's kitchen! You did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen.

Barney
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