What kind of name is Zoë? What is that short for Zoseph?


Lily: We hate Ted now. Get on board or the sexting stops!
Marshall: Ted's a son of a bitch!

Hey, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd take you up on that beer you're about to offer me.


It was actually pretty noble of him. He fell on his sword, so that she could fall on mine.


That family tree of yours has a couple of pretty big coconuts. We had a pretty good time last night and then just hand stuff in the morning so.


I'd say hump her brains out, but somebody obviously already has.


I just had a great TV audition, behind the KFC where the producer works on the weekends. Long story short, I'm going to be on LOST.


I really, really, love you guys. Now I'm gonna go drop a deuce.


That dress makes you look like a Kansas City whore. Sorry dear, last one.

Judy Eriksen

Judy: Who got cousin Daphne drunk? She is fifteen.
Robin: They grow them big out here.
Barney: And here's your number back.

I'd like to finally stop lying to my friends that you are in a coma.

Robin's Dad

Why don't you just whip up a batch of your fancy tofu sushi bagels and choke on them!

Judy Eriksen

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Quotes

Robin: Ted, the future is scary. But you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar. Yes, it's tempting...
Barney: But it's a mistake.

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.