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How-i-met-your-mother

Lily: Ooo Barney's got feelings for a girl.
Barney: Yeah, penis feelings!

And I thought Pompeii was smoking.

Barney

Who is this flower child and what has he done with my lion hearted friend Ted Mosby?

The Captain

Maritime Protocol demands physical retribution!

The Captain

Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.

Lily

With great penis comes great responsibility.

Barney

I'm Barney Stinson, I don't get smitten, I smite!

Barney

We're exes, we're probably due for a back slide, or we could just do it the normal way.

Barney

Lily: You should work at a carnival.
Barney: I tried; they're pretty strict with backgrounds.

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