How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Quotes (Page 2)

Season 7 Episode 21: "Now We're Even"

Lily: Monogamy, oh my!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ted: People make fun of the guy who stays home every night doing nothing, but the truth is that guy is a genius.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Season 7 Episode 20: "Trilogy Time"

Lily: I'm pregnant with baby number five.
Ted: But baby number four isn't out yet!
Marshall: I'm just that good!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Back boobs... the visual stimulation of missionary meets the emotional detachment of doggy style, patent pending.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Barney: I'm KFC, you don't mess with the Colonel's original recipe!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Every three years we sit down and Tril it up, agreed?
Marshall: A-greedo.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: It's my apartment and I need to assert my dominance as a man.
Robin: Don't ever, say that to any girl, ever!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Season 7 Episode 19: "The Broath"

Barney: Are you saying evil plan?
Quinn: Hells to the yes!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Barney: I was gonna say, and now the gentlemen bump fists. How long you been holding back that one?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Ted: I don't think I can do normal anymore.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Barney: Fine I'll fill her in and I am so angry I am not even going to make a joke about filling her in, which I did three times last night. Self five!
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Lily: Don't say that whore's name in front of our baby!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: I was once with a dude who couldn't even fantasize about a three-way. He was all, ooh she's your best friend!
Robin: What now?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Patrice: You seem so down today Robin, I made you cookies.
Robin: Patrice, stop smothering me!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Baby you're like twenty slutty chicks rolled into one.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 7 Episode 18: "Karma"

Quinn: Hey Gorgeous, want a dance?
Barney: Is it a jig? Cause if so, it's up! Sorry I only had the last verse of "Hot For Teacher" to work on that.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ted: Maybe it's destiny?
Barney: Nah, Destiny strips at the Melon Patch. They're people Ted, try to keep 'em straight.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Barney: What am I going to do about this Quinn thing? I want to ask her out again but I don't know how I feel about her being a stripper.
Ted: Why would you have an issue with that? You've dated convicted felons, arms dealers... pageant moms?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Lily: You'll be playing with two charter members of the East Meadow Alley Cats.
Marshall: We're a hot dog eating team with a bowling problem.
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0

Barney: When did I become such a gooey romantic?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "How I Met Your Mother" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!