How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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OK after Thanksgiving I'm cutting out carbs.


If we're together long enough I hope that one day you see yourself like I do.


Uh lets see, suits, laser tag, I say "wait for it" a lot, that's pretty much it.


Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Barney: I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.

Barney: What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: Two wrongs don't make a right?
Barney: No that's not it.

Hey dude fork over those nachos...


I think that sandwich was laced with other hard meats.


Lily: Marshall, your insurance doesn't kick in till tomorrow.
Marshall: Yeah well you know what? Life kicks in right now!

Hey, it's been no picnic for me either. You don't even do the voices.


I'm going to like the way I look. I guarantee it.


You may knot, with a K. A little tie pun.


Nobody wakes up and says "today I'm going to star in a YouTube video!"

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 156 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Quotes

Barney: It's my apartment and I need to assert my dominance as a man.
Robin: Don't ever, say that to any girl, ever!

You can't fire me I'm union bitch!