How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother

We built Chip City... We built Chip City on all your dough!

Ted

Ted, when they serve alcohol at a strip club, you're not allowed to show your vagina.

Barney

Barney: Stop pining over Marshall and Lily! Have some self respect. Now put this fiver in your mouth so that stripper with the lazy eye can vacuum it up with...
Ted: Barney! I'm allowed to miss them alright? They're my two best friends.
Barney: I'm your two best friends!

Yes! Tonight is gonna be Legen... wait are we sure it's a good idea to go to a strip club? Shut Up Lily I'm in charge now... Dary!

Barney

It's like when they canceled Party Of Five for the second time. I mean when they canceled, sports.

Ted

Kevin: Hey guys where are Marshall and Lily?
Robin: Something terrible happened.
Kevin: Are they ok? Are they in the hospital?
Barney: No, somewhere much, much worse...
Marshall: Long Island!

I just can't do 2011 anymore. Are you with me?

Robin

Sandy: I don't know what went wrong.
Robin: Well proposing a three way was bad, starting without us was worse, finishing in the hallway was the nail in the coffin.

And we're back...together.

Sandy Rivers

So as the countdown to two hundred and twelve continues, a quick warning America.

Sandy Rivers

She's my everything Robin, my sun, my stars, my oxygen. Plus she likes it fast and dirty and that's the way Sandy rides!

Sandy Rivers

You can't fire me I'm union bitch!

Ted
Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 156 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 7 Quotes

Wow Marshall really took a two-flusher on that one!

Ted

Oh thank God! Barney Stinson needs you right before his wedding, you assume there's at least one dead stripper in the closet.

Ted
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