How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother

Still? Still with the Lebron jokes?

Ted

Oh Can-adorable, am I right?

Ted

Sucks to be you braces.

Robin

Here's twenty for picking up a girl with only one word and here's another twenty for that word being boner.

Barney

So you're pregnant? Huh, looks like nobody told your boobs.

Barney

Ted: Sorry dude, we gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets.
Barney: It gets pretty tough.
Ted: I know it does buddy.

A kid needs a pet cobra. Ted don't be pill about this.

Barney

Kids I cannot stress this enough. Barney and I were going through a tough time.

Ted

Instead of throwing away your life marrying some girl, you just go splitsies on a kid with your best bro!

Ted

I wish men could have children on their own, like seahorses!

Barney

Barney: You know what would kick ass?
Ted: Being gay?
Barney: Being gay!

Why wouldn't I be all right? Barney is single again, it's what America has been clamoring for.

Barney
Displaying quotes 73 - 84 of 156 in total
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