Modern Family

Modern Family Season 1 Quotes (Page 12)

Season 1 Episode 8: "Great Expectations"

Gloria [about Haley]: When I was her age I loved my grandfather, but I still wanted to be with boys.
Jay: I know, so did Claire.. and Mitchell.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sal [about Lily]: Show me some pictures of Yoko... cause she's asian and she broke up our group.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: She's always had a dark sense of humor
Cameron: Do you remember when she went as Sigfried and part of Roy for Halloween?
Mitchell: Too soon
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 7: "En Garde"

Claire [to Mitchell]: I'm fairly confident that Dad's proudest moment was when you finally took off the flame-red unitard
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: Haley is so pretty. So she can meet someone who's the best at something
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil [about Luke]: I'm telling you that kid is a genius, there's a rainmaker
Claire: Why is your iPod in your mouth?
Luke: I'm charging it
Claire: Alex. Alex!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: You had your own moments. You had cheerleading, and high school plays, and making out with the quarterback...
Claire: Oh come on, you made out with him, too.
Mitchell: Yeah, but we had to keep it a secret.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria: So take back your sword and go fight this sword like a bull!
Manny: Okay.
Gloria: I can't hear you.
Manny: Okay!
Jay: I can't hear you!
Manny: That's really as loud as I can go.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire: Luke already is the best at something. Being my son ... That sounded a lot less lame in my head.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: Just the emerald city at the end of my yellow brick road
Cameron: Wow you did it
Mitchell: What?
Cameron: You made figure skating sound even gayer.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Mitchell: We were called "Fire and Nice." I was "Fire" because of the red hair and Claire was "Nice" because it was ironic and she wasn't.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: You always take this a little too far. Your nephew's first birthday.
Cameron: That's not fair.
Mitchell: You brought a wind machine.
Cameron: Who puts wheels on cribs?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jay: When I first heard Manny wanted to fence I was like sure, uncoordinated kid, lethal weapon, how could this go wrong?
Gloria: What do you think now?
Jay: I'm proud of our little Zorro
 • Rating: Unrated

Alex: Did you know fencing goes back to the 12th century?
Haley: You know what's even nerdier than fencing? knowing when it began
Luke: I don't think you're a nerd, Alex
Alex: Shut up dork
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Gloria [about Manny]: It's in his blood. His father was a master swordsman. He was an artist with his sword! I mean, the way he throws the sword, I mean, he was legendary
Jay: You know it's a nice moment I'm having with your son, you're kind of wrecking it
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 6: "Run For Your Wife"

Gloria: Children need to know that you believe in them; it's the most important thing. If you tell them they have wings, they will believe they can fly.
Jay: Oh really? I had a buddy that went to Woodstock, believed he could fly, didn't end great. That's why hotels' windows don't open anymore
 • Rating: Unrated

Cameron [in a high-pitched voice]: I swear to God Im gonna break it!
Jay: Do not break the window, you're gonna get glass on her
Woman [on the phone]: Sir, please tell your wife to calm down, everything's gonna be okay.
Jay: That's a man
Woman: Really?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire: Getting everybody out of the house in the morning can be really tough. Especially the first day of school.
Phil: From the moment we get up at seven until we drop them off at school it is: go go go.
Claire: I get up at six.
Phil [mocking]: I get up at five.
Claire: Seriously, I get up at six.
Phil: That's you? I thought we had a racoon
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Mitchell: I am loose. I'm fun. Remember breakfast for dinner last week? My idea
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire: Phil, let it go, I'm faster than you
Phil: If only there was some way we could settle this once and for all, but how?
Claire: You seriously want to race me? I ran a half-marathon last year
Phil: Okay, I'm half scared
Claire: Okay, we do need to do this. I'll go change
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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