Modern Family

Modern Family Season 1 Quotes (Page 8)

Season 1 Episode 15: "My Funky Valentine"

Phil: Perhaps I'll be Reginald Appleby. An English gentleman in town for a polo match.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 14: "Moon Landing"

Phil: You know how in a fairy tale there's always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well, this is like that except you don't wake up in a castle — you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cameron: Oh sure, when you're gay you just walk around giving butt bumps to everybody. It's like a high-five — it's a low two.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: Some people call me a salesman, I call myself a salesfriend, so obviously I need strangers to trust me. I don't take it kindly when someone Tom Sellecks my bus bench.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cam: My dream for him is that one day, he'll be on the Supreme Court.
Mitchell: Why Cam?
Cam: So at parties I can tell people my partner is one of the Supremes.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Phil: Luke, that is very offensive to women. Your mom works very hard, just now she works for us.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire: What's that in your hand?
Luke: Jagermeister. Dad said it would make girls wanna kiss you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: Just test-driving my new soup strainer. I dug it out of the Halloween stuff to see what people think.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Luke: Wouldn't that be so cool to go to a school made out of bottles?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phil [from the port-o-potty]: Just concluding a little business. Successfully, I might add!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny: She can't take criticism about her driving. Once an old lady yelled at her at a crosswalk, she honked so long, the horn ran out.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jay: I mean, for me it's a locker room. For him, it's a showroom.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cameron: Don't tell me that was your first moon landing.
Jay: You have a name for it?!?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 13: "Fifteen Percent"

Cameron: I got all medieval on the florists.
Mitchell: Cam, I heard you on the phone, you said you were displeased, but that's hardly going medieval.
Cameron: Excuse me, I said very displeased and I used my cowboy voice.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: Cheerleading in my college was cool. The football players were so jealous they wouldn't even let me and my buddies, Trevor, Scotty and Ling go to their parties.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jay: We're guys, we don't open up. We talk about sports and cars and getting up in the middle of the night to pee.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mitchell: I had to actually come out to my dad three times before he acknowledged it. I'm not sure if maybe he was hoping he heard it wrong, like I said 'Dad, I'm grey.'
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cameron: You guys look like a scene out of Jersey Boys.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: The little snowflake makes it cold, cold, cold. Set Temperature makes it hold, hold, hold...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria: I come from a neighborhood with a lot of prostitutes.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

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