Modern Family

Modern Family Season 1 Quotes (Page 7)

Season 1 Episode 16: "Fears"

Jay: I only understand about 20% of what goes on around here.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: We're like Ponce de Leon and his son... little Ponce.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: You never want your kids to see you scared. You want to be that rock that they grab a hold of in a stormy sea. Actually, a rock would sink. So a floating rock.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jay: I could have guessed he'd have trouble with roller coasters. That kid gets woozy at barbershops when they spin his chair towards the mirror.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gloria: Manny, you were afraid to light the barbecue, but now your eyebrows have grown back and your salmon is legendary!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: Take it down a notch. We're just trying to make a friend not initiate a three-way.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 15: "My Funky Valentine"

Jay: I have to get old... you don't have to get fat.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny: Can we stop calling me little guy? I'm in the fortieth percentile.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny: You have a laugh that makes science lab seem like recess.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Manny: I've seen the kid do a pull-up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny: The universe is cold and loveless.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: I had to settle.
Cameron: Well, your mom might think so, but some think I'm a catch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gloria: Does he have a mallet? Then how does he get hit in the head?
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: Did he trump me? You tell me. He made a painting out of a photograph one time. I have hand picked a card, drawn a heart in the steam on the medicine cabinet, and taken Claire to Fritelli's, a family style Italian restaurant, for 17 years in a row...yeah, he got me. He got me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dylan: All women should look as tasty as you when they're old.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: My wife is always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
Claire: Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
Phil: Oh no, she could make lists for days.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: I'm in town for a trade show. I design high-end electro-acoustic transducers.
Claire: Wow, that is very specific.
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Gloria: Jay, you look so strong and sexy. Like an Olympic wrestler, but with money
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Cameron: It's Valentine's Day. It's not the day you run away from love. It's the day you chase it down.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny: He has a natural confidence. I admire it and fear it.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

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