Modern Family

Modern Family Season 3 Quotes (Page 10)

Season 3 Episode 5: "Hit and Run"

Manny: I guess I'm too proud to ask for help.
Jay: Are you kidding? She still cuts your steak.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell [to Cam, Jay, Phil]: Fine I'll see you in jail! It's gonna be a big adjustment for two of you.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Claire: I take my eye off the ball for one minute and I've got one kid in a coma, one with a black eye, and one running a crime ring.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phil: No cops! We can't afford a scandal right now! Claire's running for town council.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Cam: He wasn't armed, he had a Hillary bumper sticker.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Jay: He wants more wow. What does that even mean?
Manny: It's the Bieberization of America.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Luke [about his money]: It's in a block of ice. I got the idea when I heard a bunch of rich guys talking about their frozen assets. Haha assets.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil [to Claire]: If you wanna fly I'm not gonna hold your feet to the ground, I'm gonna be the one to push you off the cliff.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria: Manny, sometimes you can be a little old fashioned. Remember the first time you saw the kids with the backpacks with wheels and you thought they were a little flashy?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Manny: I wanna be home-schooled.
Gloria: Really Manny? You want me to learn you English?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 4: "Door to Door"

Cam: Mitchell you are not going to believe this. I'm out with Gloria looking for her dog and I'm wearing an undershirt and I'm screaming STELLA just like in "Street Car"!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Manny: You'll never go broke playing into a rich guy's ego. Write THAT down.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Luke: How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Phil: How many?
Luke: None because she's got you to do that sucker.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Cam: Sweetie what's your name?
Girl: Blanche.
Cam: Shut up really? Mitchell would die.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Manny: Hello Ma'am, do you love Christmas?
Neighbor: Actually I'm Jewish.
Manny: Well then you must appreciate a good value.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Mitchell: For the record, I am not a neat freak. In fact in my first long term relationship I was the messy one, which is why she broke up with me...well...
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phil: I've always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I've succeeded as a dad.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Cam: When I get home I'm gonna scrub this place like it's a crime scene, which it is because you murdered joy.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Manny: Jay, I'm gonna need you to cut me a check.
 • Rating: 1.5 / 5.0

Alex: Consider yourself lucky you didn't just get, like, felt up by your mom.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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