I know this whole thing is a little scary for you. Last time you were pregnant you kind of did it alone because dad wasn't around much, but this time you have two partners.

Manny [to Gloria]

• Permalink: I know this whole thing is a little scary for you. Last time you...
• Added: October 10, 2012

Claire: It's shaving time, shavy gravy, Shaved by the Bell!
Alex: Why are you talking like dad?

• Permalink: It's shaving time, shavy gravy, Shaved by the Bell! Why are yo...
• Added: October 10, 2012

I'm totally pumped. Pumped pumped pumped, Pump up the jam, Pumped up kicks, Pumpedy dumpty, Pumple-stiltskin.

Phil

• Permalink: I'm totally pumped. Pumped pumped pumped, Pump up the jam, Pumpe...
• Added: October 10, 2012

Also though, it will allow for a little more freestyling in the boudoir if we're not having to worry about adding anymore critters.

Phil

• Permalink: Also though, it will allow for a little more freestyling in the ...
• Added: October 10, 2012

I'm having a baby at 65. You wanna another surprise Gloria? Buy yourself a box of crackerjacks.

Jay

• Permalink: I'm having a baby at 65. You wanna another surprise Gloria? Buy ...
• Added: October 10, 2012

Why don't you call my dad and talk about what a teet-sucking layabout I am?

Cameron

• Permalink: Why don't you call my dad and talk about what a teet-sucking lay...
• Added: October 10, 2012

This family needs a dumbass-ectomy.

Alex

• Permalink: This family needs a dumbass-ectomy.
• Added: October 10, 2012

Haley: Oh my God, what is that outfit? Are you going goth? You still sleep with a stuffed panda.
Alex: Isn't there a fraternity you need to pass out in?

• Permalink: Oh my God, what is that outfit? Are you going goth? You still sl...
• Added: October 10, 2012

Haley going to college in a miracle, Lily going to kindergarten is the law.

Claire

• Permalink: Haley going to college in a miracle, Lily going to kindergarten ...
• Added: October 10, 2012

What if this baby doesn't think things through, it's part Jay!

Manny

• Permalink: What if this baby doesn't think things through, it's part Jay!
• Added: October 10, 2012

Do you see what's going on out there? People are walking around judging each other.

Haley

• Permalink: Do you see what's going on out there? People are walking around ...
• Added: October 10, 2012

I wrapped my son with one hand while driving a stick. I know how to keep my kid safe.

Gloria

• Permalink: I wrapped my son with one hand while driving a stick. I know how...
• Added: October 10, 2012