Gibbs: What? Something wrong?
Abby: Not. At. All. Tony read me in. I heard the fantastic news that you matched DNA from the cold case airport bombing to a recent bomb in Colombia. That is awesome.
Gibbs: So?
Abby: So I'm thrilled you got someone to run DNA for you. Someone with a lab full of DNA-running equipment. I mean it must be so cool to know somebody like that.
Gibbs: Abby, it's not like that.
Abby: You cheated on me, Gibbs.

Palmer: I told Tony that you wanted to speak to Agent Gibbs, not that Gibbs ever actually speaks. After "what do you got, doc?" all I get is angry glare.
Tony: Hey Palmer.
Gibbs: Angry glare.

Tony: All right McGee, you've been pouting the whole car ride. Let's hear it.
McGee: Two years, huh?
Tony: I don't want to hear it.
McGee: You've been working on this op for two years and you never said anything.
Tony: Well, it was, what do you call it? Oh yeah. Classified.
McGee: Oh come on. How many times have I hacked classified data and shared it with you?
Tony: Forty-seven times.
McGee: Yeah, it's---you know what, that's probably right. But you prove my point.
Tony: Which is?
McGee: I can't trust you anymore.

McGee: How do I know you're not working on another secret op?
Tony: How do I know you're not working on another secret op? Are you working on another secret op? McGee.
McGee: Hurts, doesn't it?

Hankos: Do you think he's working with Orlando?
Gibbs: We're going to find out.
Hankos: If he is, no deals, no plea bargain. You make him pay. People may have forgotten the Metropolitan attack. I haven't.

Edmunds: In the meantime, what do I tell the Colombian ambassador?
Gibbs: You're a diplomat....
Vance: ....say something diplomatic.

Bishop: Um...is this the parenting class?
Soto: Oh, I'm sorry. There was a mixup on the website. Tonight is my couples' intimacy class.
Vance: Well this should be interesting.

Bishop: So who's briefing Gibbs?
Tony: Not me. I need a moment.
Bishop: For what?
Tony: I may have intimacy issues.
Bishop: Well tonight I was thankful for that.

Orlando: I came here because I have a family. I know how you cowboys work. Shoot first, ask questions later. My children are more important to me than my entire empire. I'm not willing to risk them getting cruise missle'd coming home from school one day. I want them to learn how to read, not how to scan the skies looking for drones. So, you win.
Gibbs: Just like that.
Orlando: I was retiring anyway. I was announcing it at that meeting you tried to crash.

Bishop: By all means, stretch your legs, Tim. Keep the monotony out of monogamy.
Tony: By cheating?
Bishop: No. Just words.
McGee: Elaborate.
Bishop: Harmless practice for later use on your actual flirt. Practice makes perfect. Look, what I'm saying is....
Gibbs: Keep the tool sharp.
Bishop: See, Gibbs knows what I'm talking about.
Gibbs: Ah, I got no idea.

The world wide web. It astonishes me how people post their privates....private information for all to see. Such individuals would never leave a note on the front door "the house is empty"...so why treat their computers differently?

Ducky

Delilah: I just have one more question for you.
McGee: Yeah.
Delilah: Why does she need that extra key?

NCIS Quotes

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee

Abby: It's okay. Breena's fine. Breathe. Good. Now hurry up and get to the hospital because Breena is in labor.
McGee: Jimmy? Did you hear what she said? She just said Breena's having a baby. I think you broke him.