New Girl

New Girl Season 1 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 1 Episode 17: "Fancyman (Part 1)"

Winston: You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost!
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Jess: I would have lasted two seconds in the court of the sun king. I think about that all the time.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Jess: I'll raise the money myself! I'll get a ragtag group of kids together. An orphan, a lost soul, a Jewish kid with a keyboard, a little slut who can dance, and one fatso!

Tanya: You already did that Jess. It was the spring musical, and it brought in literally $60.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Jess: You've always wanted a thing, so maybe this is your thing. The guy with no phone.
Nick: But who is that guy!?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jess: Do you have like a box of charity phones you're sending to Africa? Can he just have one of those?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Nick: He smells of strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 16: "Control"

Schmidt: I'm gonna have to run all the way home, and I have my slipperiest loafers on!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Schmidt: Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jess [to Schmidt]: You're like aging ballerina, child chess prodigy, old magician crazy.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Schmidt: I'm gonna go take a shower with Nick's bar soap like a common ranch hand.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jess [to Schmidt]: Do you remember when you got yourself off to An Inconvenient Truth? Or dressed up as Shia LaBeouf from Wall Street 2? Or said that jazz music was America's greatest mistake?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 15: "Injured"

Jess: Are you okay?
Nick: No, I'm not okay, Jess! I'm not okay! I woke up today, and I wanted to play a friendly game of touch football, then I hurt my back, and I went to your gynecologist, and now I might have cancer!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Nick: I don't have a vagina.
Patient: You can take mine.
Jess: I heard that, sister.
Patient: True that.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Jess [to Nick]: Are you sure you're okay? You're walking like a Disney witch. Let me drive you to your doctor.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Dr.; Jess tackled a girl I was dating once.
Jess: Oh yeah, she tried to steal my overalls.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

CeCe: Are you using your friends medical crisis to feel my boobs with your face?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Nick: I'm the guy who just can't jump into something if I don't know what's gonna happen. I've just never been that guy. I'm the guy that if I don't know what's gonna happen, I don't do something. Ever. I don't care how badly I want to do it. Like, if everyone went down to the beach and jumped into the water, I'm the guy guarding the wallets.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

CeCe: The only way to get through it is to get through it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 14: "Bully"

Jess: Why do we care about a crescent moon?
Winston: I don't know, but I'm gonna live there some day.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

CeCe: Guys are always just showing me off, and I hate it.

Schmidt: I want to tell people about us because I think you are the dopest, flyest, smartest, ballsiest woman that I've sexually enjoyed in really long time.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

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