Russell: When I was your age I had a skinny ponytail and I think I was living off of selling my own blood.
Nick: So what happened? You just woke up one day and had all this?
Russell: I realized I wanted to grow up, that's what happened.

I want to kill you...because I respect you. I think I understanding hunting!


It smells like leather and Teddy Roosevelt and wistfulness.


Schmidt: Do you think it's a superhero?
Nick: No, I think it's Jess and some weird guy.

You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost!


I would have lasted two seconds in the court of the sun king. I think about that all the time.


Jess: I'll raise the money myself! I'll get a ragtag group of kids together. An orphan, a lost soul, a Jewish kid with a keyboard, a little slut who can dance, and one fatso!
Tanya: You already did that Jess. It was the spring musical, and it brought in literally $60.

Jess: You've always wanted a thing, so maybe this is your thing. The guy with no phone.
Nick: But who is that guy!?

Do you have like a box of charity phones you're sending to Africa? Can he just have one of those?


He smells of strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse.


I'm gonna have to run all the way home, and I have my slipperiest loafers on!


Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.


New Girl Season 1 Quotes

Nick is so, so, so hot! I want to rub my face on his face!


Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.