Favorite Scrubs Quotes
Normally I like to sleep in, but part of me is an early riser.
Cole
Troy: Oh, your face is red like a 'strawbrary'.
Janitor: Don't have kids.
Do yourself a favor and pick a leadership style and stick to it, but please avoid aggressive shaming because its my bread and butter.
Dr. Cox
Jordan: Hey, stud, thank you for not asking me to help out on the Mr. Bober thing.
Dr. Cox: I would've but, it would have been pointless. It turns out, you're a very predictable woman, there, Jordan.
Jordan: Puh-lease!
Dr. Cox: I know you. You're gonna walk into that board room tonight, all tall and strong, and then you're gonna sit back and just pray that nobody asks your opinion. I mean, I'm sure you-you probably think that your little visits here are a spontaneous surprise, but, did you ever wonder why the only two candles that I own are already lit when you walk in that door? I mean, doll, I hate to tell you this but, I don't walk around all day with cologne down in my engine room. I'm not that guy!
Jordan: Some people like reliability.
Dr. Cox: In a sedan, it turns out it's terrific
Denise: What's going on? You texted that someone was coding in here.
Dr. Cox: You texted me, "come and show me your boobs."
Drew: I may have switched those texts, which does raise the question, why did you come, Dr. Cox?
Elliot: Sorry I'm late.
Todd: Hey, Elliot. Is it greasy outside?
J.D.: Oh, that is so stupid. Elliot, you look... smart.
Dr. Cox: Hello?
Elliot: Of course I'm smart - I'm a doctor!
Doug: "What's up, doc?" I just got it!
J.D.: Maybe that's why Danni wants to break up with me, she thinks I'm too smart!
Todd: You're dating a guy named Danny? Is he hot?
Ted: Okay, gang! Before we begin, Dr. Kelso wants me to remind you of the legal ramifications of all your teensy snafus.
Dr. Kelso: "Teensy snafus"?!? Good God, Ted, it's not a Dr. Seuss story! Now, listen up, nametags! Over fifty percent of our lawsuits can be traced back to poor patient-doctor communication. To that end, if any of you still feel the need to flap your babble holes, you will be joining me in my new daily seminar on doctor-patient relations. My first invitee will be Dr. Murphy, whom I recently overheard telling someone, "Stop bleeding, stop bleeding, oh, God, please stop bleeding."
I don't have a ring, but you can kiss my ass.
Elliot
J.D. [about Cole's mother]: You're gonna hit that, aren't you?
Kelso: Like a big rig with no breaks.
Dr. Cox: Pumpkin, that's modern medicine. Advances that keep people alive that should have died along time ago, back when they lost what made them people. Now your job is to stay sane enough so that when someone does come in that you actually can help, you're not so brain dead that you can't function-for the love of God, what?
J.D.: Its just... do you think we should be talking about this in front of her?
Dr. Cox: Her? She's dead. Write this down newbie, if you push around a stiff, nobody will ask you to do anything.
J.D.: You've been like a father to me.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough, you want some real advice? If they find out they nurses are doing your proceedures for you, your ass will be kicked out of here so fast it will make your head spin
Set my DVR to record The Big Bang Theory. The whole world is watching this thing and I need to know why.
Cox
Dan: Hey! I can't find my Dido CD!
J.D.: If my heart could write songs, they'd sound like these.
