Scrubs

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 3 Episode 18: "His Story II"

Dr. Cox: Never stop pedaling, Allie, you'll be a shoe-in for the girl X-games.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: [on phone] Sean, I'm just bummed that I'm so busy I might not be able to do this clown thing today. I know I'm a doctor first, but what about that summer I spent at clown academy? I mean, it's starting to seem like that was just a giant waste of time. I wish you were here. I can't believe you've been in New Zealand for 5 months.
Sean: [on phone] I can't believe you still haven't figured out the time difference. It's 4 A.M. here!
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Wussuuuuuuuup, Bry-Bry! You, my friend, have just won the lottery. I'm not saying I'm good, but if there was a surgeon awards show around here, it'd be called The Turkies. You know what I'm sayin'?
Dr. Cox: (To Brian) You don't have to know what he's sayin' - none of us do.
 • Rating: Unrated

(female patient's husband enters the room)
Elliot: Oh and this must be your Hobbit, I mean husband... of course. I rented Lord Of The Rings last night so... I would do Frodo. He's short too.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s Narration: Today's gonna be a great day. Still, no time to dilly-dally - God, that's a fun phrase - I have to meet Dr. Cox in five- Good God! Check out those dilly-dallies!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

J.D.: I already got my shifts covered for the next two days! Besides, where're you gonna find somebody else? You think Lonnie, my intern, gives a rat's ass about acute thomrobotic thrombocytopenic purpura?
Lonnie: ATTP? It killed my father.
Dr. Cox: You're in.
Lonnie: It is gonna be so amazing working on the disease that tore my family apart.
J.D.: Kiss ass.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: Guys! Three long years of busting my hump at this place and it has finally paid off!
J.D.: You got the fellowship?
Elliot: No! I get to be the clown in Pediatrics!
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Heeeey! That old clown was really good. So, uh, you got some really big shoes to fill!... Dammit, I'm funny!
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: Dude, my tongue is totally dry. How many more of these wedding invites do I have to lick?
Turk: Fine. Don't lick 'em.
J.D.'s Narration: Come on, don't get mad at Turk. What's really bugging me is that, thanks to Dr. Cox, I've got nothing to do... nothing to talk about... no stories to tell.
Turk's Narration: From the moment I woke up this morning, I have been freaking out about getting married. Luckily, Carla's being cool.
Carla: Okay, this is your last chance to uninvite that slut you went out with in high school.
Turk: She's married to my brother!
Carla: Isn't that convenient.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Thanks for driving me to work, man.
J.D.: You kidding? I wanted to see the mailing of the invites! Once you drop those suckers in, there's no turning back! I'm just mad I forgot my camera... Or did I?
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: I'm sorry... It's just I miss talking to you... I miss seeing you... I even miss that weird way you sleep with your eyes open.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk's Narration: Damn, Elliot's got a nice ass for a white chick! Stop it! Just 'cause you're panicked about getting married doesn't mean you have to reduce every woman to her physical attributes... Oh, great, my new scary boss and her amazing chest, butt, feet... I love feet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk's Narration: What now, you mean witch?
Dr. Miller: I'm sorry, but if you act like a cartoon character in front of one of our patients again, I'm gonna spend the next ten years introducing you as the guy who sponges off my forehead. Okay, we're done. Bryan! Dr. Turk is gonna take you back to your room.
Dr. Cox: That was... that was glorious.
Dr. Miller: Okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: You didn't mind that cocky stuff, did ya?
Bryan: Noooo. I love "Bry-Bry". Never had a nickname before.
Turk: Well, lemme tell you something - there's plenty more where that came from, Killer B!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elliot: What are you doing here? I thought you had like two days off?
J.D.: Had to pick up a mouth guard from oral surgery. Some of the kids at the park said I couldn't jump Jones Creek on my bicycle; so now I gotta give 'em the 4-1-1 on my mad daredevilin' skills!
Elliot: Meanwhile, back in adult world... I was just given twelve new admits and now there's no way that I can be a clown for the kids today!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Miller! I am attending a hospital administrator's luncheon this afternoon. I would love for you to join me.
Dr. Cox: Not so fast, there, Bob. You forgot to affix the warning label to your forehead. You know, the one that reads "Exposure to Bob Kelso can be hazardous to your health" thus affording the reader a fighting chance to escape the waste and contamination that is... Bob Kelso.
Dr. Kelso: Gosh, darn it, Perry, you are entertaining. You know, like Howie Mandel or a monkey in a funny hat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Nurse Espinosa, would you mind getting me some sugar, stat.
Carla: Why, yes, Doctor.
They share a long kiss.
Carla: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Bryan: Wow! This hospital rocks! Did you two just meet?
 • Rating: Unrated

Bryan: I could never get a girl like that.
Turk: Why?
Bryan: Well, girls don't usually go for the piano-playing power geek.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carla: Okay, okay, okay. So how far over the Creek did you make it?
J.D.: I don't know the exact distance in terms of feet and inches, but in laymen's terms, I would have to say... about halfway.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Miller: Has anyone seen Dr. Kelso? We're supposed to leave for that luncheon.
Dr. Cox: Oh, that's strange. Because I remember having a conversation with you about this very subject - never do anything with him, pure evil - ringing any bells?
Dr. Miller: Just the one in my head that goes off when I'm incredibly bored.
 • Rating: Unrated

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