Scrubs Season 3 Quotes
Dr. Cox: Listen to me! I am not losing a bet to Bob Kelso!
Mr. Corman: All this concern about my health and my well-being, and it's about a bet!? You know what, that's a pretty reprehensible thing to do! Well, if you'll excuse me, I have a full body scan to take!... You drove me here. I'd like to see a dessert menu, please.
Turk: I cannot believe you are freaking out about this! It's a great idea!
Carla: Turk! We are not having wedding PIE!
Turk: That is so typical of you, Carla! This whole wedding has been about you, and I'll prove it!
Carla: Give me back my wedding planner!
Turk: Frank Sinatra as our first dance. Please, baby, that guy has only got one good song. You got...pink roses. I hate pink! Big screen TV at the reception! Big screen TV at the reception?
Carla: I knew how much you wanted to see the play-offs.
Mr. Corman: Listen, I appreciate the lunch. But are you actually trying to convince me, an admittedly frugal hypochondriac, not to get a free full body scan?
Dr. Cox: Mr. Corman, you're not dying of anything! Although if you do try to swipe one more bite of my lamb medallions I will be forced to kill you.
Mr. Corman: Well, look who never learned to share.
Dr. Cox: Not yet, you don't.
Mr. Corman: For Pete's sake... Will you leave me alone?
Dr. Cox: Look! This baby would mess with a normal person's mind. So please hear me when I say that if you get this scan, it will ruin you. The next year of your life is gonna be a series of endless tests, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep that from happening to you. Even if it means giving you free medical treatment the rest of your life.
Mr. Corman: How can I believe that you even care about me?
Dr. Kelso comes in.
Dr. Kelso: How are we doing, Mr. Corman?
Dr. Cox: Oh, uh, Bob. We, uh, we just had our scan. You win.
Dr. Kelso: And...?
Dr. Kelso holds his hand up and Dr Cox kisses his ring.
Dr. Kelso: Now, Perry, I know that was our first date, but next time, don't be afraid to put a little feeling into it.
Mr. Corman: Why should I even listen to you? The last time I was here, you tried to torture me to prove a point. Dr.- Dr.- Dr.-
Dr. Cox: Cox.
Mr. Corman: Mengele!
Dr. Cox: Uh!
Carla: Okay, why are you mad? You told me to un-invite people!
Turk: So, without asking, you went to my new boss and told her you didn't want her to come to the wedding.
Carla: Nooo. I told her we didn't want her to come.
Dr. Kelso: I need your opinion about something.
Dr. Cox: Yes Bob, those pants do make you look like you're holding water.
Dr. Kelso: Perry, I'll tell you the same thing I told a comic I once saw in a strip club in Reno; I'm not here for the jokes.
Dr. Cox: I can't believe Kelso really asked my opinion, you know?
Janitor: Look pal, if I wanted to sit and listen to someone yammer on about their lives, I'd be at my A.A. meeting right now.
Dr. Cox: Listen there scrub brush, it just so happens it was the only empty seat in the whole joint and besides, as a fellow abusive drinker you are honor-bound by bar stool protocol to listen to every last word out of my mouth.
J.D.: So, moving in together?
Elliot: Yeah. It's a little scary.
J.D.: It is scary. You know, I knew this girl in college who moved in with her boyfriend - everything changed. Stopped talking to each other, started fighting all the time and... you know the rest.
Elliot: They broke up?
J.D.: Oh no, he killed her.
Nurse: Dr. Reed, they need you to check on that stabbing victim in room 301.
J.D.: (whispers) Could be you.
Elliot: What?!
J.D.: Nothing.
Danni: Wanting what you can't have?
J.D.: Why are you here? Hospitals don't sell cigarettes!
Todd: Man, I'd smoke her!
J.D.: Quiet time Todd.
Mr. Corman: I wanna know everything that's wrong with me.
Dr. Cox: Mr. Corman, you're not even feeling bad, you don't need this scan. If it would make you happy, we can just go ahead and do the exact same thing we've done the last fifty times you've been in here - take your temperature, draw some blood and give you a rectal. It's your basic "Aw", "Ow", "OOOWWW!".
Sean: Yeah, and I gotta get up early and look for an apartment.
Elliot: Yeah, he wouldn't take this perfect one he saw today just 'cause the last tenant died there.
Sean: Elliot! Rats ate his tongue out!
Elliot: Yeah, but the kitchen was so cute!
