Turk: Dude, I would love to help right now, but I'm in the middle of writing my vows. And all I've got so far is, "Let's give it up for the caterers! WOO! Good chicken!"
J.D.: So now that you're gettin' married, it's all about you.
Turk: No, now that I'm getting married tomorrow, it's about me.
Marko: Ooh, still seems that you can take a minute for a friend.
J.D.: I know!
Turk: Shut up, Marko!

I don't necessarily buy into all that new agey crap. One time I saw my mom knock my father unconscious with a frying pan. You know what I did? I kept right on going with my birthday party.

Dr. Cox

Larry: Look, kid, you're just confused. All you need to do is focus on the little things you love about her. Like... the way she puts out a cigarette... or how when she finishes a beer, she looks inside the can just to check if there's any left.
J.D.: Hm?
Danni: Sweetie, it's 5 to 9, and my Denver omelet's not gonna make itself.

Carla: What's going on with you?
Dr. Cox: Let's see, Jordan and I aren't, uh...we're not fighting anymore.
Carla: Oh, no. How long has this been going on?
Dr. Cox: Since the baby came along we've been fighting less and less.
Carla: Why don't you get a hotel room? Pour some nice champagne, get in a tub, and rip each other new ones. You know, make it special.

Marco! The invite says no dates, man! NO dates!


J.D.'s Narration: Unfortunately for me, I wasn't in love with Elliot. But I'm a man, and even though it was gonna be tough, I knew exactly what I had to do.
J.D.: Ready to go? I say we pick up some Chinese and hang at home tonight.
Elliot: Awesome!
J.D.'s Narration: I was going to stay with her for the rest of my life.

Marko: Aw come on man! That was "When Harry Met Sally" - it was a classic!
Turk: Aww yeah dude, you know I was gonna rent that the other night but then I remembered I was a heterosexual.

J.D.: Turk, I need your help, man. It's about Elliot.
Marko: Why, did you sleep with her again?
J.D.: How does everybody know about this?

J.D.'s Narration: Oh, he is so the Soup Nazi! Trick him!
J.D.: What is it again? It's like, you're out of luck in the soup department?
J.D.: Ha! Rad.

J.D.'s Narration I guess the Soup Nazi was right, it is the little things that are important. Like when Elliot blows the bangs out of her face. Or how she's the only person I know who sneezes with her eyes open.
Elliot: Atchoo. Ahem. 'Scuse me.
J.D.'s Narration: And that's when I realized that I really liked all those things about Elliot, but I didn't love them... and I didn't love her.

Turk: You're making a big mistake.
J.D.: Come on, man. Elliot and I are like best friends. We love hanging out with each other. Maybe that's love. I mean, who-who knows what love really is?
Turk: I do. J.D., when I look at Carla, I see the future. I see kids, I see minivans, I see a beer gut - on me, of course, not her.
J.D.: I hope so.

Turk: Oh, my God. My future brother-in-law is an evil genius!
Elliot: I'm gonna go, uh, check on "Sally"! Ha!... Okay, not funny yet.

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes

Powerful tiny fists...


Sterile high-five!