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J.D.'s Narration: Once you embrace a relationship and decide that you're really in, everything becomes easier. And I am in, baby!
Elliot: So, my parents are coming to town next week.
J.D.: We must eat with them!
Elliot: Oh. All right.

J.D.'s Narration: Maybe I just don't feel I deserve someone as great as Elliot because I have low self-esteem.
Elliot: Do you know that you have really nice hands?
J.D.: "Nice"? Elliot, these are the hands of a god!
Elliot: Heh!
J.D.'s Narration: Fine, so it's not the self-esteem thing.

Carla: Turk, when I asked you if you wanted to write your own vows, you said yes.
Turk: Baby, I'm on top of it, all right? I promise you this weekend'll go off without a hitch!
Carla: Oh, hey, how did it go picking up my brother at the airport this morning?
Turk: I'm sorry, what?
Carla: How could you forget him!? You two have enough trouble getting along as it is!
Turk: Baby, I'm joking!

Baby, you mean so much to me. That's why you my baby. And, yeah, there were babies before you, but I promise you, baby, you will be my baby forever, baby... Stop saying "baby"!

Turk

J.D.'s Narration I guess the Soup Nazi was right, it is the little things that are important. Like when Elliot blows the bangs out of her face. Or how she's the only person I know who sneezes with her eyes open.
Elliot: Atchoo. Ahem. 'Scuse me.
J.D.'s Narration: And that's when I realized that I really liked all those things about Elliot, but I didn't love them... and I didn't love her.

Tell me this, how do you not scare him when you go in there? Do you wear a nanny mask or do you just slap on a name tag that says "Hi I'm your Mommy?"

Dr. Cox

J.D.: What the hell you doing with that guy?
Danni: I don't know. I thought it'd be cool to date a celebrity.
J.D.: He's not a celebrity!
J.D.'s Narration: Wait a second!
J.D.: Are you the Soup Nazi from 'Seinfeld'?
Larry: No.
J.D.: Say the soup thing.
Larry: No!
J.D.: Dammit!

Oh my God that board meeting went on forever! It was so dull I had to read pamphlets just to stay awake. Good news is, don't have testicular cancer.

Jordan

Dr. Cox: Those pants make your ass look giant.
Jordan: Stop doing this.
Dr. Cox: I'm doing it for us. You suck at Scrabble.
Jordan: Do I look mad?
Dr. Cox: You got so much Botox in your expressionless face, I can't tell.

J.D.'s Narration: Maybe Elliot's just not the right fit for me. I mean, I'm the kinda guy who likes stupid movies.
Elliot: Hey, let's rent "Kangaroo Jack" tonight!
J.D.'s Narration: And I have uncontrollable hostility towards small rodents.
Elliot: Or we could just go shoot rats at the dump!
J.D.'s Narration: Dammit! She is perfect in theory.

I can only assume you're saying "Let me out or I'm gonna kill ya"...not gonna happen. Listen, I'm in a rare position of power here, okay? So I'm only gonna let you out if you admit that you're my mentor. I know! I know that makes you angry, but-- Uh-oh! Okay! Okay! You know, I'm fine the other way! However you wanna do--

J.D.

Dr. Kelso: You just bought yourself four weekends on call! Damn twisty bottoms!
Carla: You just said you didn't care. Why are you fighting?
Dr. Cox: I can't stop!

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 981 in total

Scrubs Season 3 Quotes

Giddyup, Dr. Dorkian!

Danni

Well, if it isn't Dr. Haircut and her not-ready-for-primetime players!

Dr. Kelso