Scrubs Season 3 Quotes
Elliot: Oh, Mrs. Gorski, I know shingles are never fun. Unless you're talking about the games we made up the summer my parents got a new roof. It was kind of like Hide & Seek, only we'd throw shingles at each other? Ahh, summer time... Still, a positive attitude can go a long way in helping you feel better, so let's see a big ol' smile
Dr. Kelso: Excuse me. Can I borrow Dr. Reid?
Mrs. Gorski: You may keep her.
Dr. Kelso: Here at Sacred Heart, I like to think that our patients choose our hospital not only because I leak vicious rumors about competing hospitals to the press, but also because when they see one of our doctors they think, "Now that's a professional!"
Elliot: Um, I don't think I look unprofessional.
Dr. Kelso: I've let this whole new look thing slide the last few months, but now that your colleagues are beginning to complain I'm going to give you the same advice I give my son every morning. Lose the makeup! Get a haircut! And stop using my razor to shave your fun zone!
Dr. Cox: Okay, people, biphasic defibrillators. How many of you had a chance to practice on the mannequin?
Todd: Oh, yeah.
Dr. Cox: With the defibrillator...?
Todd: Uhhhh...
Elliot: Ugh.
I didn't do anything. No yelling, no breaking stuff, nothing. And right then bam, I figured out what's different. I figured out what that feeling was that I was having in the park the other day with my family. I'm... happy. Now does that not just make you sick?
Dr. Cox
Turk: Dude, with Danni you just gotta keep your eyes on the prize. Focus in on how great it is to be single! Chasing tail! Hell, I miss it every day.
Carla: Oh, you don't care if you ever have sex again, do you?
Turk: Baby, listen, I'm just trying to keep my man psyched, 'cause since I've known J.D., he's never broken up with anyone.
J.D.: He's right. I don't like hurting people. But with Danni, I'm gonna do the honorable thing - I'm gonna have someone in a fireman's outfit tell her I burned to death.
Carla: Bambi, you owe her closure. Hell, you owe it to every woman you've ever dated.
Fantasy
J.D.: Listen, Danni... Lisa... Drunk girl who was friends with the girl I really wanted to hook up with... It's not all of you. It's me. Scott Gerber?!
Scott: At soccer camp, I told you I wanted to be more than friends.
J.D.: I thought you meant teammates!
Scott: Well, I didn't!
J.D.(on phone): Uh, listen, something's been on my mind...
Danni(on phone): Me too. I just feel like my life is so scattered lately and you're the only good thing I have going right now.
J.D.(on phone): Awesome.
Carla: How's he doing?
Laverne: The boy's got no biscuits.
J.D.: I am trying to break someone's heart here, okay?
Elliot: Have the other doctors been making fun of the way I look?
Carla: What? No! No way! Why would you say that?
J.D.: Huh? I've never heard anything like that! Why?
Laverne: Hell, yeah.
Dr. Cox: What the hell, there, Pee-Pants? Are you... the only one here?
Doug: I drew the short straw, so I have to press record on all the tape players when you start the lecture.
Hello, citizens! Welcome to Sacred Heart! Home of the world's most giant doctor! Be not afraid! I'm just like you! Except I'm giant!
J.D.
J.D.: Besides, I gotta go deal with this whole Danni thing.
Turk: You want me to just talk to her for you? I'll do it.
J.D.: Nah, that's weak. I mean, if someone doesn't care about you enough to break up with you themselves, it's like they didn't ever care about you at all.
Jordan: Hey, guys. Ohh! J.D., Danni's breaking up with you. Mm, darn. See ya!
