Scrubs Season 3 Quotes
Turk: Dude, look at the size of this Odor-Eater! We could surf on it!
J.D.: I still don't understand why Danni's breaking up with me, man. I gotta go talk to her.
Turk slaps J.D. across the face with the giant Odor-Eater.
J.D.: Okay, first of all, words cannot describe the smell that is currently on my cheek.
Carla: Happy birthday!
Laverne: Oh, dammit, people, I've been here twenty-three years. For the last time, I'm allergic to coconut!
Elliot: You know, I shouldn't have to feel bad for wanting to look good. You don't, what with your bohemian scarves and pirate earrings...
Carla: Thank you for noticing.
Jordan: Little piece of advice: Your honker's cute in person. Peep-hole? Not your friend.
J.D.: Ha! I'm sorry, did I interrupt you from trying to eat your baby?
Turk: I don't understand it. This wedding is supposed to be about us - how come I can't be comfortable?
Carla: And I don't know how many times I have to tell you that you are not wearing sweats!
Hey champ. What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'?
Dr. Kelso
Dr. Kelso: See this is why you shouldn't get emotionally invested in your patients.
Dr. Cox: Hey Bobo, now when the dark prince does finally call you home, please promise me that you'll donate your body to science, and I don't mean medical science. I mean NASA, 'cause when those buzzcuts have all but given up on trying to figure out just exactly what a black hole is, and they get one look at that space where your heart was supposed to be, well by-gum you know they're gonna say, 'Aww shucks! That's what it is!'
Elliot: Carla, if your wedding ceremony is going to be in Spanish, how will I know that you're officially married?
Carla: Because all my cousins will throw tortillas in the air and fire their guns.
Elliot: Really? Oh God I wish I was ethnic!
Dr. Cox: (Honestly sincere) Really Ted, I'm sorry about the mother situation.
Ted: She has cold feet!
Dr. Cox: Oh don't be that guy!
Ted: What guy?
(Dr. Cox leaves)
What guy?!
Turk: Who ordered the liver?
Dr. Cox: Jackass
Turk: Bite me. (To the patient) Great guy!
There'll be banana hammocks everywhere!
J.D.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, Ted. I meant to tell you eight months ago, all those days of vacation you saved up expire riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...now!
Ted: But sir! I was going to visit The Alamo with the guys from my public sp-speaking class!
