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All right, everybody! Gather around here, circle it up, will ya? Bring it in nice and tight. Look, I know I'm pretty quick to point out other people's mistakes but...I have a son now, and I also realize that it's important to recognize when someone does something right. Mr. Blake down in Bed 3 came in here with what seemed like a basic heart block. But someone took the time to find out that recently he'd been camping and correctly diagnosed him with Lyme Carditis. Now, I'm sure some of your are gonna think this is a silly exercise, but I'd like that someone to step forward and stick your hand up in the air so that the group can recognize your great good work. This-this is no time to be modest. Come now... Oh! My God! It was me! I did it, I'm a genius, I'm a huge brain in a ripped up body, I am Jesus H. Cox...M.D.Dr. Cox
- Permalink: All right, everybody! Gather around here, circle it up, will ya?...
Elliot: I've never connected with a guy like this before. I mean, even though it's only been two weeks, I already feel like I know Jake better than I know myself.
Carla: What does he do for a living?
Elliot: I should know that.
- Permalink: I've never connected with a guy like this before. I mean, even t...
Elliot: Look, I have just been thinking about all of my relationships, and every time one has potential, I go too fast and ruin everything. Long story short, Jake's not getting any.
J.D.: Oh, please, you're a half a glass of wine away from nuding up and doing your go-to move.
Turk: Which is?
J.D.: Her on top, eyes closed, yelling, "Don't look at me! Don't look at me!"
- Permalink: Look, I have just been thinking about all of my relationships, a...
Janitor: You paged me in the middle of a busy day! This better be important!
Dr. Kelso: What were you doing?
Janitor: Sleeping in a mop closet.
- Permalink: You paged me in the middle of a busy day! This better be importa...
Dr. Cox: Carla, I assume tubby hubby here told you all about what happened at the taco stand?
Carla: Please, tell me you didn't try to get free guacamole again by telling them you were married to one of their people.
- Permalink: Carla, I assume tubby hubby here told you all about what happene...
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Murphy, I'd have more sympathy if this were the first time you broke both your feet working in the morgue.
Doug: Sir, it's like those corpses are out to get me!
Dr. Kelso: Heh! If only.
- Permalink: Dr. Murphy, I'd have more sympathy if this were the first time y...
Turk: What's the sex like?
Elliot: What makes you think that I have slept with him?
Dr. Kelso: For starters, you've known him more than ten minutes.
- Permalink: What's the sex like? What makes you think that I have slept wi...
Elliot: I don't think that we were going too quick at all. By the way, what do you do?
Jake: I make and distribute Hungarian pornography.
Jake: I'm a real estate developer.
Elliot: Oh, thank God!
- Permalink: I don't think that we were going too quick at all. By the way, w...
Yeah, now that's just a load of crap. Turns out the only reason anybody ever does anything is to feed the ego. Because that's what we are - ego monsters.Dr. Cox
- Permalink: Yeah, now that's just a load of crap. Turns out the only reason ...
Dr. Kelso: Yeah, I'm sorry, son, I'd love to help you out, but I could give a horse's patootie about your floors.
Janitor: My floors are my children! I'VE GIVEN THEM NAMES!
- Permalink: Yeah, I'm sorry, son, I'd love to help you out, but I could give...
Janitor: Aaaand finished. I remember the bordello being a little bit bigger and there were probably a few more prostitutes, but maybe I just remember it that way 'cause I was a kid - it was my twelfth birthday. I asked for a bike. I got a 48-year-old whore.
Doug: It's beautiful. It's almost a shame I get these casts off in a week.
Janitor: A month.
Doug: A what?
Janitor: Yeah, I worked too hard on this - you can take 'em off in a month.
Doug: I'll call my orthopedist.
- Permalink: Aaaand finished. I remember the bordello being a little bit bigg...
Elliot: Listen, Jake... Look, it's not that I am never going to have sex with you! I'm going to! And, believe me, when I am on top with my eyes closed and screaming, you're gonna be happy you waited!
Jake: Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and take you off speakerphone.
- Permalink: Listen, Jake... Look, it's not that I am never going to have sex...