Dr. Cox: Hey now, great work back there, Gandhi. What a story, huh? Blood, bravery, illegal immigrants - it had it all. Hell, when you tell Carla about this, the next time you two have sex, there's a slight chance that she actually just might think about you.
Turk: Heh! Perry, Perry, Perry. You know what the difference between us is? Well, besides the fact that I can carry a conversation without checking my own reflection every five seconds?
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry. I-I get lost in my eyes.

Honestly, it was like Death and I had a staring match, and, well, Death blinked. Now, all of you know I'm not one to toot my own horn, but, uh... beep, beep

Dr. Cox

J.D.: Come on, Mr. Gilmore.
Turk: Come on, Colonel Mustard!... HA! Pay up.
Mr. Gilmore: Can I get some Jell-O, please?
J.D.: Jell-O is for winners.
Mr. Gilmore: What?
J.D.: I'm just kidding. We'll have some sent right to your room, big guy.

Janitor: Aaaand finished. I remember the bordello being a little bit bigger and there were probably a few more prostitutes, but maybe I just remember it that way 'cause I was a kid - it was my twelfth birthday. I asked for a bike. I got a 48-year-old whore.
Doug: It's beautiful. It's almost a shame I get these casts off in a week.
Janitor: A month.
Doug: A what?
Janitor: Yeah, I worked too hard on this - you can take 'em off in a month.
Doug: I'll call my orthopedist.

No one wants to live out their last years in a hospital, but people do. There's really not much we can do for them except try to protect their dignity. And, of course, bet on them.

J.D.'s Narration

I know it sounds corny, but we really made a big difference in that person's life in there. I hope she digs her new cans.

Todd

Jake: Elliot, please, look, everybody has their stuff. 'Kay, like me. I'm an emotional person, but I've always had trouble expressing it. Well, here, tell me... tell me you like my shirt.
Elliot: I like your shirt.
Jake: Cool. Okay, now tell me, uh, tell me my childhood dog Buster was never put down and we're gonna be reunited this weekend. You can paraphrase.
Elliot: Uh, Buster's coming home.
Jake: Cool... See, there's no difference, and Buster meant the world to me.

Elliot: Sex is disgusting!
Carla: I know, sweetie.

All right, everybody! Gather around here, circle it up, will ya? Bring it in nice and tight. Look, I know I'm pretty quick to point out other people's mistakes but...I have a son now, and I also realize that it's important to recognize when someone does something right. Mr. Blake down in Bed 3 came in here with what seemed like a basic heart block. But someone took the time to find out that recently he'd been camping and correctly diagnosed him with Lyme Carditis. Now, I'm sure some of your are gonna think this is a silly exercise, but I'd like that someone to step forward and stick your hand up in the air so that the group can recognize your great good work. This-this is no time to be modest. Come now... Oh! My God! It was me! I did it, I'm a genius, I'm a huge brain in a ripped up body, I am Jesus H. Cox...M.D.

Dr. Cox

J.D.'s Narration: Unfortunately for Jake, he still had to pass muster with Turk and me. And nothing is quite as daunting as our "good guy test."
J.D.: Well, I could use a beer.
Jake: I got this round. Be right back.
J.D.: Good guy.
Turk: Great guy!

Dr. Cox: Still, I probably couldn't have done it by myself, so I'd like to go ahead and recognize some of the other players who were involved. There was the intern who originally misdiagnosed the patient...
Lonnie: That's me, daddy.
J.D.: Put your hand down, Lonnie.
Dr. Cox: And then there was the resident who confirmed that misdiagnosis.
J.D.: In my defense, I was up late watching a 'Designing Women' marathon.

Dr. Cox: Carla, I assume tubby hubby here told you all about what happened at the taco stand?
Carla: Please, tell me you didn't try to get free guacamole again by telling them you were married to one of their people.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 1181 in total

Scrubs Season 4 Quotes

J.D.: Hey, I heard a great joke. A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth." And the dentist says, "Well, if you think you're a moth, why are you at a dentist's office?"
J.D.'s narration: Oh, no, I forgot the punchline... You can't bail out now! Stall! Stall!
J.D.: ...So the moth says "That's a good question. What kind of dentist are you?" And the dentist says, "Well, I'm a general dentist, but I...I do dabble in orthodontry - braces and such." And... and the moth says, "Orthodontry? I hear there's great money in that."
J.D.'s narration: "The light was on"!
J.D.: "But! To answer your original question, which was, if I think I'm a moth, why am I in a dentist's office? The answer is, Because the light was on!" The light! The light, James. Moths love light. So, James, other than your funny bone being broken, what seems to be the problem?

Was she always wearing that big hat?

Dr. Cox
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