Seinfeld

Seinfeld Quotes (Page 10)

Season 4 Episode 12: "The Airport"

George: But you are, blanche. You are in the shackles!
Prisoner: You son of a (gets taken away)
George: (happily) Oh, I can't wait to read my Time magazine. Last copy too. Maybe I'll read it tomorrow, in the park! It's supposed to be a beeyoouutiful day! Have a nice life, sentence that is! Oh, you miserable
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: (To herself, loudly to the guy next to her) Wake up, you human slug! Wake up! Wake up!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Attendant: Would you care for some slippers?
Jerry: Sounds lovely! (To Tia) May I?
Tia: Please! (puts slippers on her)
Jerry: Why, It's a perfect fit. You must be Cinderella.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: No-no-no, Kramer. Kramer! Kramer! You cannot abandon people in the middle of an airport pickup! It's a binding social contract. We we must go forward not back.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Tia, did you see all the flowers in that bathroom? It's like an English garden in there.
Attendant: They're gardenias, mostly.
Jerry: I thought I smelled lilac.
Attendant: Yes, there are a few of those, too.
Tia: It's almost overwhelming.
 • Rating: Unrated

Attendant: And today we're featuring wines from the Tuscany region.
Jerry and Tia: Tuscany!
 • Rating: Unrated

Attendant: You're not supposed to get up during the food service.
Elaine: Well, nobody told me that!
 • Rating: Unrated

Attendant: Well, the only meal left is a kosher meal.
Elaine: Kosher meal? I don't want a kosher meal. I don't even know what a kosher meal is.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: You're eating my food!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Attendant: More anything?
Jerry: More everything!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: You bought non-refundable tickets, you idiot!
Kramer: She talked me in to it. She said it was the best deal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: What is all the racket back there? You know, you're trying to relax on the plane and this is what you have to put up with. (to attendant) What is going on?
Attendant: Sir, this woman tried to sneak into first class.
Jerry: Oh, you see, that's terrible. The problem is that curtain is no security. There really should be a locking door.
 • Rating: Unrated

(approaches to the guy that was sitting next to her as he is sleeping)
Elaine: HEY!!
(the man wakes up in surprise)
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Listen, I didn't do anything wrong. That guy owes me 240 bucks!
Security Guard: Now, you're in big trouble.
(Kramer breaks free from his arms and runs off)
 • Rating: Unrated

(the plane lands, Jerry looks out the window and sees Kramer running)
Jerry: (to himself) Nah, couldn't be.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I got my bags. I'm ready to go.
Elaine: Yeah, you got your bags!
(scene goes to Honolulu International Airport where we see Elaine's luggage going around the baggage terminal)
 • Rating: Unrated

George: (from outside the plane, we don't hear him but he is saying) KRAMER!!!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: I hate rental cars. Nothing ever works: the window doesn't work, the radio doesn't work and it smells like a cheap hooker.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 11: "The Contest"

Jerry: (after George tells him about the hot nurse who gives sponge baths to the gorgeous patient)
Well, I guess you'll be going back to that hospital.
George: Well Jerry, my mother...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: (on Kramer's chance of winning the contest) You'll be out before the check comes!
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite "Seinfeld" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!