Seinfeld

Seinfeld Quotes (Page 11)

Season 4 Episode 11: "The Contest"

(after learning that Elaine is out of the "contest")
George: You caved?!
Jerry: It's over?!
George: You're out?!
Jerry: Oh my God, the Queen is dead!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: She's driving me crazy, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm here, I'm climbing the walls. Meanwhile I'm in this contest, I'm datin' a virgin, SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: What are you doing tonight?
Jerry: Date with Marla.
George: Oh, the virgin? Any progress there, what's the latest?
Jerry: Well, I've got my troops amassed along the border. I'm just waiting for someone to give me the go-ahead.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: What's the matter?
George: My mother caught me.
Jerry: Caught you? Doing what?
George: You know. (All three give him blank stares) I was alone
Elaine: You mean..?!
George: (Nods) Uh-huh.
Kramer: (laughing) She caught you?
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I stopped by the house to drop the car off, and I went inside for a few minutes. Nobody was there. They're supposed to be working. My mother had a Glamour magazine; I started leafing through it
Jerry: Glamour?
(Kramer and Elaine laugh slightly)
George: So, one thing lead to another
Jerry: So, what did she do?
George: First she screams, "George, what are you doing?! My God!"
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up.
Jerry: What did you do?
George: I zipped up!
Elaine: So, she fell?
George: Yeah. Well, I couldn't run over there the way I was!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: We have to do it. It's part of our lifestyle. It's like, uh, shaving.
Elaine: Oh, that is such bologna. I shave my legs.
Kramer: Not everyday.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: What're you looking at?
Jerry: There's a naked woman across the street.
Elaine: (smiling, chuckling) This is gonna be the easiest money I've ever made in my life.
 • Rating: Unrated

Estelle: I don't understand you. I really don't. You have nothing better to do at 3:00 in the afternoon? I go out for a quart of milk; I come home, and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!
 • Rating: Unrated

Estelle: Too bad you can't do that for a living. You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you! You could be a big star!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(George is hypnotized by a sponge bath with a female patient)
Estelle: George, you're cousin, Shelly, is talking to you!
(George is still focused)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joyce: I can get you a spot right behind him. He has got a great butt.
Elaine: Yeah. Butt. Butt. Great butt. John-John's butt.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: So, you're still master of your domain.
Jerry: Yes. Yes I am. Master of my domain.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Kramer sits in front of Jerry's window to see a naked lady)
Jerry: She's not there!
Kramer: Oh, I can wait
 • Rating: Unrated

George: I am king of the county. You?
Jerry: Lord of the manor.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elaine: John F. Kennedy Jun-ya!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: But the question is, are you still master of your domain?
Elaine: I'm queen of the castle.
 • Rating: Unrated

Estelle: Could you go now, George? I'm very hungry. I'm weak.
George: Well, wait a little while, Ma. What's the difference?
Estelle: Could you go now, George? I'm very hungry. I'm weak.
George: Well, wait a little while, Ma. What's the difference?
Estelle: I don't understand why you can't do this for me!
George: I just got here, Ma! I'd like to spend a little time with you.
Estelle: But if you wait, they won't let you back in! Visiting hours are almost over!
George: Ten minutes! Here, here, (throws a box of Tic-Tacs to her) Have some Tic-Tacs.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Estelle: George I'm huuunnnggry!
George: Hang on, ma, hang on.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (singing along with the TV) The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus
(Kramer joins in with Jerry, only, he has a different version)
Kramer: The woman across the street has nothing on, nothing on, nothing on
 • Rating: Unrated

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