Seinfeld Season 2 Quotes
They'll probably kill his family over this.Jerry
- Permalink: They'll probably kill his family over this.
Look I feel sorry for him too, but he'll get another job. I mean let's face it, it's not a profession in which you embellish your resume and undergo a series of gruelling interviews.Jerry
- Permalink: Look I feel sorry for him too, but he'll get another job. I mean...
I never knew I could drive like that. I was going faster than I've ever gone before, and yet, it all seemed to be happening in slow motion. I was seeing three and four moves ahead, weaving in and out of lanes like an Olympic skier on a gold medal run. I knew I was challenging the very laws of physics. At Queens Boulevard, I took the shoulder. At Jewel Avenue, I used the median. I had it. I was there. And then, I hit the Van Wyck. They say no one's ever beaten the Van Wyck, but gentlemen, I tell you this I came as close as anyone ever has. And if it hadn't been for that five-car pile-up on Rockaway Boulevard, that numbskull would be on a plane for Seattle right now instead of looking for a parking space downstairs.Elaine
- Permalink: I never knew I could drive like that. I was going faster than I'...
He's a wonderful guy, but I hate his guts.Elaine
- Permalink: He's a wonderful guy, but I hate his guts.
Eddie: Watch where you're going.
Antonio: Hey! Why don't you watch where you're going, okay?
- Permalink: Watch where you're going. Hey! Why don't you watch where you'r...
Who left the door open?Antonio
- Permalink: Who left the door open?
Cats run away all the time. You know, my aunt, she had a cat. Ran away. Showed up three years later. You never know. They've got things in their brains where they remember where they're from. Unless, of course, somebody else starts feeding him. See, that's what you've gotta worry about.Kramer
- Permalink: Cats run away all the time. You know, my aunt, she had a cat. Ra...
Jerry: Anywhere in the city?
George: Anywhere in the city - I'll tell you the best public toilet.
Jerry: Okay Fifty-fourth and Sixth?
George: Sperry Rand Building. 14th floor, Morgan Apparel. Mention my name - she'll give you the key.
Jerry: Alright Sixty-fifth and Tenth.
George: (Scoffs) Are you kidding? Lincoln Center. Alice Tully Hall, the Met. Magnificent facilities.
- Permalink: Anywhere in the city? Anywhere in the city - I'll tell you the...
If I don't get this guy on a plane to Seattle and out of my life, I'm gonna kill him, and everyone who tries to stop me.Elaine
- Permalink: If I don't get this guy on a plane to Seattle and out of my life...
Jerry: Are you still using that same old alarm clock?
Elaine: Oh no no, I bought a new one today. It's got everything! You oversleep more than ten minutes, a hand comes out and slaps you in the face.
- Permalink: Are you still using that same old alarm clock? Oh no no, I bou...
Health cookies. I hate those dustboard, fructose things.Elaine
- Permalink: Health cookies. I hate those dustboard, fructose things.
Elaine: I feel like just walking over to a table and taking food off of someone's plate.
Jerry: I'll tell you what. There's $50 in it for you if you do it.
George: $50? For $50, I'll put my face in their soup and blow!
- Permalink: I feel like just walking over to a table and taking food off of ...
(George, Jerry and Elaine are sitting at a table. Jerry and George are wearing baseball uniforms.)
George: Who gets picked off in softball? It's unheard of.
Jerry: It's never happened to me before.
Elaine: I remember saying to myself, "Why is Jerry so far off the base?"
Jerry: I'll have to live with this shame for the rest of my life.
(George consults his stat sheet of the game)
George: And then in the fifth inning, why did you take off on the pop fly?
Jerry: I thought there were two outs.
Elaine: I couldn't believe it when I saw you running. (laughing) I thought maybe they had changed the rules or something.
Jerry: It was the single worst moment of my life.
George: What about Sharon Besser?
Jerry: Oh, well, of course. Nineteen seventy three.
Elaine: Makes you wonder, though, doesn't it?
Jerry: Wonder about what?
Elaine: You know (looking up) the spirit world.
Jerry: You think Manya showed up during the game and put a hex on me?
Elaine: I never saw anyone play like that.
Jerry: But I went to the funeral.
Elaine: Yeah, but that doesn't make up for killing her.
George: Maybe Manya missed the funeral because she was off visiting another galaxy that day.
Jerry: Don't you think she would've heard I was there?
George: Not necessarily.
Jerry: Who figures an immigrant's gonna have a pony?
- Permalink: Who gets picked off in softball? It's unheard of. It's never h...
Jerry: I hate anybody who had a pony growing up.
Manya: I had a pony!
Jerry: Well, I didn't mean a pony per se
Manya: When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony. So, what's wrong with that?
Jerry: Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just expressing
Helen: Should we have coffee? Who's having coffee?
Manya: He was a beautiful pony. And I loved him!
Jerry: Well, I'm sure you did. Who wouldn't love a pony? Who wouldn't love a person who had a pony?
Manya: You! You said so!
- Permalink: I hate anybody who had a pony growing up. I had a pony! Well...