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And there it was, mountains of duck. And not fatty duck either, but juicy tender breasts of duck.

Elaine

Elaine: How do we know that dog food is any good? Who tastes it?
Jerry: She's really hungry.

Gina: Come, you walk me to a cab.
Jerry: Well, uh, I uh, I don't want you to get upset or anything but uh, with Martin and all, well maybe it's not such a good idea for us to be seen together in the building, because, you know, he had a lot of friends here.
Gina: You're still afraid. You are not a man.
Jerry: Well then what are all those ties and sport jackets doing in my closet?

George: So how was it?
Kramer: George, I would like to thank you for the greatest four days I ever spent in my life. They were shooting the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue right in the hotel pool.
Jerry: Whoa. (hits George)
Kramer: Not only that but at the hotel they opened up this area on the beach for nude bathing and all of the Sports Illustrated models went down there.
Jerry: Wow! (hits George)
Kramer: I was on the next blanket from Elle McPherson
Jerry: Oh! hits George)
Kramer: We played Backgammon in the nude.
Jerry: Oh! (hits George)
Kramer: She's a sweet kid.
Jerry: Nude backgammon with swimsuit models! (hits George)
Kramer: Oh, you know what? The second day I was there I stepped on a jellyfish. Now it kind of stung my foot. That's probably what Rula was trying to warn you about.
George: Yeah, you gotta watch for the jellyfish.

The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since one-hour martinizing.

Kramer

Gina: I do not like your toothbrush. There are no bristles.
Jerry: You can say what you want about me but I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here while you insult my toothbrush.

Jerry: Let me ask you a question. If you named a kid Rasputin do you think that would have a negative effect on his life?
Elaine: Nah.

Elaine: It's really bad for the fetus. Do you know that.
George: Elaine, she's a psychic. She knows how the kid's going to be.

Jerry: Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.
Elaine: Well, maybe some mental defective put something stupid on her leg.
Jerry: Even if this so-called mental defective did put something on her leg, she's still the one who laughed.

I have no power. Why should she have the upper hand? Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand. No hand at all. She has the hand. I have no hand.

George

I don't have a good apartment for an intervention. The furniture is very non-confrontational.

Jerry

Kramer: Well, it's these people-- they go swimmin' in the winter. They're terrific; I just took my first swim today. Brrrrrrr! It's invigorating.
Jerry: Yeah So's shock therapy.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 329 in total

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes

I can't get a massage from a man.

George

Jerry, he's a guy.

Elaine