Seinfeld

Seinfeld

NBC
Season: 4 3 2 1

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes (Page 12)

Season 3 Episode 7: "The Cafe"

Jerry: How'd you do on the IQ test?George: (irate) 85!
 • Rating: Unrated
George: She wants me to take an IQ test.Jerry: 'Cause you're stupid enough to wear the cologne.
 • Rating: Unrated
Babu: Our specials are tacos, moussaka, and franks and beans.Jerry: Well, what do you recommend my good fellow?Babu: Oh, the turkey.
 • Rating: Unrated
George: Oh, hello, professor.Elaine: George, I cannot believe... George: Please... Elaine: No, there has got be a mistake.George: You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.Jerry: But an 85?
 • Rating: Unrated
Monica: Is that the test?Elaine: Oh, this... um... yeah... here you go.Monica: Thanks. I hope you do a lot better this time.
 • Rating: Unrated
Jerry: Go ahead, you're taking the IQ test.
George: Yeah, and she's gonna find out I'm a moron. You know, people think I'm smart, but I'm not smart.
Jerry: Who thinks you're smart?
 • Rating: Unrated
Kramer: Hey, do me a favor...Some guy comes in looking for me, tell him you don't know where I am.
Jerry: Of course, I always do.
Kramer: No, no it's that guy. He's really been bugging me about the jacket.
Elaine: Just give it back to him.
Kramer: Oh, he'll have to kill me.
 • Rating: Unrated
Jerry: You know, I could probably shoot him from here. I'd be doing us both a favor.
 • Rating: Unrated
Kramer: This guy leaves this jacket at my mother's house for two years. Now, she hasn't seen him since and now he says he wants the jacket back.
Jerry: So?
Kramer: Well, I'm not giving it back.
 • Rating: Unrated
Elaine: (to George) Listen, there were too many distractions there. Babuwhatever his name was, and Kramer, I couldn't concentrate.
Jerry: (swaying around mockingly) It was a maaaad-house!
Elaine: Jerry, it was!
 • Rating: Unrated
Jerry: (with his sweater over his nose) Bazooka Joe.
 • Rating: Unrated
Kramer: I meet a lot of women in this jacket. They're attracted to it.
 • Rating: Unrated
George: (explaining how he got food on his IQ test) I had a sandwich in my pocket.
 • Rating: Unrated
Babu: Where are people? You see people? Show me people! There are no people!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 6: "The Parking Garage"

Jerry: I could get uromisitisis poisoning and die!
 • Rating: Unrated
Jerry: Why do I always have the feeling everyone's doing something better than me on Saturday afternoon?Elaine: This is what people do.Jerry: No they don't. They're out on picnics, cooking burgers, making out on blankets. Not in some mall in Jersey helping their friends find the world's cheapest air conditioner.
 • Rating: Unrated
Kramer: Purple 23, remember that.George: Yeah, that I'm supposed to remember. Where the car is, that's insignificant.
 • Rating: Unrated
George: Fish. What do they do?Elaine: What do you do?
 • Rating: Unrated
George: I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jerry: There's too much urinary freedom in this society.
 • Rating: Unrated

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Season: 4 3 2 1
Total Season 3 Quotes: 329
Total Seinfeld Quotes: 941
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