Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes
Helen: You're going underwater?Jerry: Yes. Generally that's where scuba diving is done.Helen: What do you have to go underwater for? What's down there that's so special?
Jack: What happened to you?Jerry: I got in a fist fight with one of the ladies at the pool.Helen: It's from scuba diving.Jack: What's there to see underwater?
Jack: Do you think I take everything everybody offers me? You offered me sponge cake yesterday. Did I take it?Morty: You said you didn't want it!Jack: Of course I wanted it! I love sponge cake!Morty: Then who the hell said you couldn't have any? I mean what the hell do I care whether you have sponge cake?Jack: Because I saw the look on your face last week when I took the scotch tape!Morty: Ahh! So you got the scotch tape! I've been looking all over for it!
I'm sleeping on a loveseat. I got my feet up in the air like I'm in a space capsule!
Jerry
(to Elaine) It's one day. Half a day, really. I mean you subtract showers and meals, it's like twenty minutes.
Jerry
Jack: Come on, take the pen!
Jerry: I can't take it.
Jack: Do me a personal favor!
Jerry: No, I'm not
Jack: Take the pen!
Jerry: I cannot take it!
Jack: Take the pen!
Jerry: Are you sure?
Jack: Positive! Take the pen!
Jerry: Okay. Thank you very much.
I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution.
George
Have you ever been audited? It's hell. It's the financial equivalent of a complete rectal examination.
Jerry
Jerry: Completely naked?Kramer: Completely naked.Elaine: Jerrry, How can I go on?Kramer: Alright. I'll tell you what. If it's going to make you feel any better, you can see me naked.Elaine: No thank you!Kramer: No, I want you to see me naked.Elaine: No, no, no!Kramer: No, I want to show you.
George: My whole life has been a complete waste of time.Jerry: And there's so much more to go.
Elaine: What did you think, that would impress me?Jerry: You got it all wrong! I was thinking only of the poor Krakatoans!Elaine: Like you give this donation for 50 bucks and I'd start tearing my clothes off?Jerry: Those brave Krakatoans... East of Java! Who sacrificed so much for so long!
Kramer: I don't even pay taxes.Jerry: Well that's easy when you have no income.
