You're soooooo good looking!

Jerry/Elaine

Oh... a matador... Uno Momento Por Favor.

Jerry

An affair? That's so adult. It's like martinis and stockings and William Holden.

George

Robin: *sneeze*
George: *pauses* God bless you.
Robin: Thank you.
George: (motions to husband) I wasn't going to say anything, but then I could see that he wasn't going to open his mouth. *snorts*

Michael: You think you're so damn special because you say "God Bless You?"
George: No, I don't. I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.

Elaine: Michael called me today, and he asked me where Robin was.
George: Yeah, okay.
Elaine: And I said I hadn't seen her.
George: What?!
Elaine: No, no George! You don't understand! She didn't tell me she was using me as an excuse! Okay?! But then I realized what was going on, and I said that she left a note. Um, but he didn't really buy that. And then, and then he did mention your name.
George: He mentioned my name?! What did he say?!
Elaine: He said he was going to sew your @$$ to your face.

If you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze, you shouldn't say 'God bless you.' You should say 'You're so good looking!

Jerry

I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.

George

(about hit-and-run drivers) You know they're mentally disturbed. They should be sent to Australia.

Kramer

He's finished! I'm going to sew his ass to his face! I'm going to twist his neck so hard his lips will be his eyebrows! I'm going to break his joints, and reattach them!

Michael

George: I am speechless. Speechless! I have no speech.
*later*
Elaine: I am speechless! I am without speech.

George: Oh, my God. I must be crazy. What have I done?
Robin: Oh no, what's wrong?
George: What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I just committed adultery!
Robin: You didn't commit adultery, I did.
George: Oh, yeah.
Robin: If I didn't do it with you, I would have done it with someone else.
George: Well, I wouldn't want you to do that. You know there's a lot of
losers out there.
Robin: Maybe even someone who didn't say 'God bless you'.

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes

(Closing monologue) I think the best part of a relationship is when you're sick. And the best part of being sick is when you're in a relationship. And if I was to get married, you know all those vows; for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, all I need is the sickness. That, to me, is the most important one. Do you take this man in sickness? That's the only time I need somebody there. Rest of the time, go out, have a ball, do whatever you want, but if I get the sniffles, you better be there.

Jerry

Stella!

Elaine
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