Seinfeld

Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes (Page 8)

Season 3 Episode 13: "The Subway"

Naked Man: I'm not ashamed of my body.Jerry: That's your problem. You should be.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: I get the feeling when lesbians are looking at me, they're thinking, "that's why I'm not heterosexual."
 • Rating: Unrated

Woman: I started riding these trains in the '40s. Those days a man would give up their seat for a woman. Now we're liberated and we have to stand.
Elaine: It's ironic.
Woman: What's ironic?
Elaine: This -- that we've come all this way, we've made all this progress, but, you know, we've lost the little things, the niceties.
Woman: No, I mean what does "ironic" mean?
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: No, no, no, you don't understand! I'm not a lesbian! I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Scam Woman: Eight dollars? Eight dollars?
George: What are you doing? You're robbing me?!
Scam Woman: I wasted my whole morning on you for eight dollars?
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Looking for the quotes. Gotta check the quotes. Love a good quote.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Big brokerage houses killed my father.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (to the naked man) Tell you what, if they win the pennant this year, I'll sit naked with you at the World Series.
 • Rating: Unrated

Woman on the train: See what I get? 35 years on this train, and I finally talk to someone, and it turns out to be the best man of a lesbian wedding!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 12: "The Red Dot"

Jerry: I never feel comfortable in the woman's department. I feel like I'm a little too close to trying on a dress.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Lippman: I'm going to get right to the point. It has come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?George: Who said that?Mr. Lippman: She did.George: Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time.Mr. Lippman: You're fired.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: Say you got a big job interview, and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret. H-E-double N-I...Jerry: Kramer! Yah, that'll do.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dick: So, you're Jerry.
Jerry: So, I'm Jerry.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: You want an overview? I see a very cheap man holding a damaged sweater, trying to get away with something. That's my overview.
 • Rating: Unrated

George: ...next thing I knew, she was mopping up the floor with me.
Jerry: How was it?
George: The sex was good, but I threw up from the Hennigan's.
Jerry: Good thing the cleaning woman was there.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: Would you do me a favor?
Kramer: Okay.
Jerry: Would you take a drink and let us smell you?
Kramer: You can smell me without the drink.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

George: I've always been attracted to cleaning women. Cleaning women, chambermaids
Jerry: Yeah, chambermaids, I'm attracted to them too.
George: Why is that?
Jerry: It's a woman in your room.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 11: "The Alternate Side"

Jerry: I don't understand. Do you have my reservation?Car Rental Assistant: We have your reservation, we just ran out of cars.Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here, that's why you have the reservation.Car Rental Assistant: I think I know why we have reservations.Jerry: I don't think you do. You see, you know how to TAKE the reservation, you just don't know how to HOLD the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry / Elaine / Kramer / George: These pretzels are making me thirsty!
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: Guess who I bumped into. Owen.George: He's alright?Elaine: Yeah, he's almost fully recovered. He told me he was just using me for sex.
 • Rating: Unrated

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