Seinfeld Season 3 Quotes
(in a condescending tone) And you want to be my latex salesman?
Jerry
Newman: June 14, 1987.... Mets Phillies. We're enjoying a beautiful afternoon in the right field stands when a crucial Hernandez error to a five run Phillies ninth. Cost the Mets the game.
Kramer: Our day was ruined. There was a lot of people, you know, they were waiting by the player's parking lot. Now we're coming down the ramp... Newman was in front of me. Keith was coming toward us, as he passes Newman turns and says, "Nice game pretty boy." Keith continued past us up the ramp.
Newman: A second later, something happened that changed us in a deep and profound way front that day forward.
Elaine: What was it?
Kramer: He spit on us.... and I screamed out, "I'm hit!"
Newman: Then I turned and the spit ricochet of him and it hit me.
Jerry (on Keith Hernandez): Yeah, he's a real smart guy too. He's a Civil War buff.
George: I'd love to be a Civil War buff. What do you have to do to be a buff?
Jerry: So Biff wants to be a buff? Well, sleeping less than 18 hours a day would be a start.
Vandelay Industries. Kal Varnsen speaking. How may I help you?
Jerry
Jerry, he's a guy.
Elaine
I'm not drivin' him to the airport!
Jerry
That is one magic loogey!
Jerry
Hernandez spit at us.
Kramer
Cynthia: I mean the problem is that the good ones know they're good. And they know they're in such demand they're just not interested in confining themselves to one person.
Elaine: I hate the good ones.
Cynthia: Is Jerry one of the good ones?
Elaine: That's a good question. I think he thinks he is.
Cynthia: What does he look like?Elaine: Um, well, he's got a lot of character in his face. Um, he's short. Um, he's stocky.Cynthia: Fat. Is that what you're saying, that he's fat?Elaine: Powerful. He is so powerful, he can lift a hundred pounds right up over his head. And um, what else. What else. Oh, right. Um, well, he's kind of, just kind of losing his hair.Cynthia: He's bald?Elaine: No! No, no, no, he's not bald. He's balding.Cynthia: So he will be bald.Elaine: Yup.
Well let me tell you something about George. He is fast. He can run like the wind. And he's strong. I've seen him lift a hundred pounds over his head without even knowing it. And you wouldn't know it to look at him, but George can bait a hook.
Jerry
Elaine: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.
Jerry: I went out with you.
Elaine: That's because my standards are too low.
