Liam: Who are you?
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm mom.

Nobody takes my fucking granddaughter.

Monica

If you want to piss away every single chance that comes your way, that's your problem, but don't drag me into it.

Fiona

Liam: I'm doing CPT.
Fiona: CPT?
Liam: Coloured people time.

Waitress: Your boy is in bad shape.
Sierra: He's not my boy.

As long as it's under a dollar, they don't care what we charge them.

Debbie

This place is a shit hole.

Etta

Ian: No, you gotta... it's the other-
Mickey: Do I tell you about EMT shit? Leave the god damn stealing to the experts.

Fiona: Get out of my kitchen!
Lip: My sentiments exactly.

Frank: All I had to do was pull out and you would have never been born.
Fiona: You were too high to pull out.

This is not a dictatorship. This is America. Give me liberty, or give me meth.

Frank

Funeral Director: Have you had a chance to consider what sort of arrangements you'd like to make for your loved one?
Fiona: Yeah, how do we get her into the ground as soon as possible?

Shameless Quotes

Everytime she pees on the stick it's bad news and then I get depressed thinking about my husband banging my mom cause we selfishly wanna have a baby with some of our DNA.

V

Gus: See you at two.
Fiona: Wouldn't miss it.