South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralPopular South Park Quotes
I don't know what to believe in any more, mmkay!
Mr. Mackey
You know I spent five bucks on that stupid thing?
Cartman
Jesus did not suffer for our sins, he was in fact very high.
Drug Investigator
Priests and bishops have been working overtime to remove Jesus from the record books and The Last Supper.
News Anchor
I know people that paid ten bucks for those braclets. I bet they feel pretty stupid now.
Randy
Butters: I asked preacher, what about the New Testament? And he says well you still should ought to read it, but you gonna need to put an asterisk next to Jesus' name when ever it comes up!
Cartman: So weak, dude. Dark times, brah. Dark times.
Jesus Asterisk Christ, Stan! People are feeling really cheated by this!
Cartman
There are green scauses for recycling, blue scauses for kitties, and pink scauses that focus on nothing but titties!
P.F. Pityef
Vengeance is mine!
Jesus
Flight Attendant: Would you like some warm nuts, sir?
Cartman: Haahaha! Warm nuts, she says!
Cartman: Pretty sweet, huh?
Kyle: What the hell is this?
Cartman: What's it look like? Hundreds of thousands of votes from all the swing states.
Kyle: I don't believe it.
Cartman: No really, there are states full of swingers. Bunch of perverts if you ask me.
Obama: I don't know how they did it, but the Chinese secured my victory. I have to fulfill my obligation.
Presidential Staff: And what if General Tso suddenly gets the courage to go to the press with all this?
Obama: Don't worry, everyone knows General Tso's chicken.
