Cartman: Wait a minute, why the hell does he get an A-?
Mr. Garrison: Eric, Stanley just might lead our team to victory against the Middle Park Cowboys for the first time in decades. And we treat star athletes better 'cause they're better people.

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Stanley, gay people, well, gay people are evil. Evil right down to their cold black hearts, which pump not blood like yours and mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior.

Mr. Garrison

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I haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant!

Frank

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Oh my! I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938!

Frank

• Permalink: Oh my! I haven't seen a Jew run like that since Poland, 1938!
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Why, I haven't seen a beating like that since Rodney King.

Frank

• Permalink: Why, I haven't seen a beating like that since Rodney King.
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Stan: That's it, Sparky! Kick his ass!
Cartman: Heh, he's doing something to his ass. He's not kicking his ass, but he's definitely doing something to his ass.
Stan: Sparky, bad dog!

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Chef: Hey, I know you. You're that crazy cracker from up on the hill top.
Dr. Mephisto: Sir, if splicing the DNA of humans and various animals together is crazy...

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Bebe: I'd want a pot-bellied elephant.
Pip: Yes! I'd pay $50 for one!

• Permalink: I'd want a pot-bellied elephant. Yes! I'd pay $50 for one!
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Stan: What about our elephant pig?
Dr. Mephisto: I'm afraid I can't do that. Have you heard that song by Loverboy? (breaks into song) Pig and elephant DNA just won't splice.

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Cartman: Why don't you go back to San Fransisco with the rest of the Jews?
Kyle: There aren't any Jews in San Fransisco, retard!

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Stan: What is that?
Kyle: That's my new pet elephant. He was supposed to come in from Africa in 46 weeks, but it only took 3 weeks.
Stan: That's cool!
Kyle: No it's not! My mom doesn't let him in because his poop is bigger than the couch.
Cartman: My mom got me a pot-bellied pig, because its poop is small.

• Permalink: What is that? That's my new pet elephant. He was supposed to c...
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Stan: What's gonna be for lunch today Chef?
Chef: Well, today it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles, and a choice of green bean casserole, or vegetable medley.
Cartman: Kickass.

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