South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 2 Quotes
Father Maxi: Who would have sex with a chicken?
Halfy: I would.
Mr. Garrison: Aw you couldn't screw anything Halfy, you don't have any legs.
Father Maxi: Have some respect for people's feelings, would you Halfy?
Now move along, or I'll be forced to execute every one of you by gunshot to the head.
Officer Barbrady
Reporter: Has chicken f(bleep)er left any clues at the crime
Officer Barbrady: All right, I admit it! I can't read! Are you happy now? You pushed and you pushed, and now you know my deep dark secret; I'm illegitimate!
Terrance: Oh, Phillip. How will we ever find my fugitive daughter in this daunting place? We don't speak the language, we are unwelcome strangers, and we have no idea where to begin.
(They look across the street and Terrance's daughter is standing there.)
Phillip: Oh, look. There she is.
Terrance: Well, Scott said to meet him here, but he's not showing up!
(Phillip farts and they laugh)
Phillip: Well, while we're waiting, why don't we search for treasure?
Terrance: Oh. Good idea. Let's search for treasure.
(Phillip looks around, but Terrance ends up looking at his feet)
Scott: (arrives) What are you idiots doing?!
Terrance: We're looking for treasure!
Scott: Is that some kind of metaphor for a a kind of sex that can't be described?!
Phillip: No, we're searching for treasure.
Terrance: No! It's Sally. She's being held captive in Iran.
Phillip: Not Sally! Dear God, no, Terrance! Why Sally?! God, why?! Say, Terrance, who's Sally?
Terrance: Wow! Scott really hates us, Phillip.
Phillip: Yes, perhaps he's homophobic.
(Terrance thinks)
Terrance: But we're not gay, Phillip.
Phillip: We're not?
Phillip: Would a murderer go to the zoo and feed animals like this? Of course not. So, in summation, find Terrance innocent... Or else he'll KILL you!
Phillip: Ha, ha! Just kidding!
Ugly Bob, your face looks like somebody tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver.
Phillip
Terrance and Phillip, you two are the most annoying dicks in Canada. I wish you both had cancer, in the head.
Scott
Terrance: What are you doing?
Scott: I am wishing cancer upon you.
Phillip: What?
Scott: I am giving you cancer with my mind.
Phillip: No, don't give me cancer!
(Phone rings, inane laughter)
Phillip: That fart sounded like a ringing phone Terrance.
Terrance: It sure did Phillip.
(Phone rings again)
Terrance: Oh wait, that is the phone.
