South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 4 Quotes
Carol: Are you alright Stuart?
Stuart: Don't touch me. I've had my nuts broken, body poisoned and been made love to in the ass by three dozen forty year old men. I just wanna go home and take a hot bath.
(Kenny is holding a plunger above his head and staring angrily at his mother)
Mrs. McCormick: Oh, hi Kenny. What are you doing?
(Camera pans back to angry plunger-holding Kenny)
Mrs. McCormick: Wh-What are you doin' Kenny?
(Camera pan)
Mrs. McCormick: Kenny..What are you goin' to plunge?
Why the hell does the F.B.I. keep arresting all my friends?? This HAS to be the work of Stan and Kyle, God I hate those guys!
Cartman
Cartman: Alright, what the hell do you guys think you're doing?!
Stan: We're making faces at sick people.
Child Molester: Do you like having your back rubbed?
Mr. Garrison: Eat me pervert.
Child Molester: Okay.
(after Kenny hits his dad intentionally with a baseball)
Mrs. McCormick: What happened?
Mr. McCormick: He smacked me in the balls!
Wow, they've got activists for everything these days.
Officer Barbrady
Kyle: Alright Cartman, I'm gonna give you a jail time card. You lose a turn.
Stan: Sweet.
Cartman: Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna give you AIDS.
Kyle: What?
Cartman: I just gave you AIDS.
Kyle: AIDS?
Stan: Dude, that's not cool. Don't give Kyle AIDS.
Cartman: (writing) Kyle has AIDS and now loses 47 turns and 800 points.
Cartman: (to Kenny) Goddamn it poor people suck. Your family is already on welfare and now you're gonna bring another kid into the world. Poor people are churning out babies, adding to the population and then expecting ME to pay for it with MY tax dollars.
Stan: You don't pay tax dollars Cartman, you're 8.
Cartman: Those perverts aren't going to rest until they have made love to one of us right? So somebody's just gonna have to go out there and take one for the team. And I think in all fairness it should be Butters.
Butters: Huh? Now why me?
Cartman: Are you a team player or not?
Butters: Well sure, I'm a team player I guess.
Cartman: Now Butters, there is no 'i' in team.
Butters: You mean to expect me to go out there and let all those horny old men have their way with my fragile person? Well just what team is this anyway?
Cartman: Just go Butters, we're running out of time.
Butters: Oh, alright then. (Butters leaves the room)
Cartman: (Laughs) He's such a dumbass.
Look, people have it so good in America that they get bored very easily. And when people get bored, they start protesting things.
Janet Reno
Yes, lucky for them, these quintuplets no longer have to live in Romania, the asshole of the world.
Reporter
