The Mentalist

The Mentalist Season 1 Quotes

Season 1 Episode 19: "A Dozen Red Roses"

Cho: Nice. I could arrest you for that.
Jane: You'll never take me alive, copper.
Cho: Seriously.
Jane: Seriously, it's Marilyn and Charlie. What, do you want to make a comedy arrest, see your name written in the weird news section?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 18: "Russet Potatoes"

Van Pelt: Dr. Daniel, no offense, but I've been working with Patrick Jane for nine months now. You wanna get under my skin, you're gonna have to up your game.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 16: "Bloodshot"

Cho: How is he?
Lisbon: Guess what, he's a bad patient.
Cho: Who would've thought.
Jane: I'm not a bad patient. She's a bad visitor.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jane: Oh, please don't look at each other like that.
Lisbon: Like what? You can't see.
Jane: I can feel. I can feel your pity.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jane: Grace, personal question. Rigsby and I were wondering, uh...who is this man you were kissing by the coffee cart?
Van Pelt: That's...that's none of your business.
Jane: Not from payroll?
Van Pelt: Payroll? No, he doesn't even work here. It's none of your business.
Jane: Well, thank heavens for that, at least. No killing needed.
Rigsby: Don't be so sure.
Jane: You'll see. Honesty's best.
Rigsby: Yeah, honestly, I'd like to kick your butt right now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rigsby: Jane, I need to ask you a favor. I need you to, uh...I need you to find out from Van Pelt about this guy she's dating. You know, what's the score?
Jane: The score?
Rigsby: Is it serious? Are they, uh, you know?
Jane: Ask her yourself.
Rigsby: Yeah, right. No. Come on. You know the situation. It's against the rules, relationships between coworkers.
Jane: What are you, a man or a mouse?
Rigsby: A man, obviously.
Jane: Could've fooled me.
Rigsby: If it's that guy from payroll, I will kill him.
Jane: Well, that would be a strong, romantic statement. Women like a man that would kill for them. Hey, Van Pelt!
Rigsby: Don't!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 14: "Crimson Casanova"

Cho: You didn't steal jewelery from her?
Natalie: Please. She dresses like a Mormon call girl. I wouldn't wear her jewelery if you paid me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Grace: (about Mr. Wolcutt) He's also the type that would hire other people to do his dirty work.
Cho: Yes, he is. Hitmen aren't cheap and they don't take credit cards.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cho: When did you first meet Paul Fricke?
Woman: At a wine tasting event a friend was throwing.
Cho: And how long were you and he romantically involved?
Woman: Um, three, maybe four hours.
 • Rating: Unrated

Patrick: Can't sleep alone, huh?
Fricke: Some people use cocoa and a good book. I use beautiful women.
 • Rating: Unrated

Patrick: (observing Cho) Kid's a natural. Look at him. The Cho. No business like Cho business.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Patrick: Do you know who killed Claire?
Fricke: No.
Patrick: Interesting. He is either a habitual liar telling the truth, or he's an honest man lying.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Wolcutt: I can make one phone call and your career is toast.
Cho: (decidedly unimpressed) That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 13: "Paint It Red"

AP: (talking about the painting) $50,000,000, right there.
Patrick: It's about $10,000 right there. It's a fake.
AP: The hell it is.
Patrick: Fake as a $6 bill.
 • Rating: Unrated

Arlov: Are you mad?
Patrick: No, just kidding. It's just a prop to get me into the room. I am aware that you have the real painting.
Arlov: Really? You are aware, and how are you aware of this?
Patrick: I guessed. Confirmed by the predatory smile on your face when you asked me about it just then. You enjoy trapping people in nets of their own making, don't you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Patrick: (to Arlov) Most successful criminal bosses show a similar profile. Sadistic, violent, but also highly methodical, they're psychologically astute.
 • Rating: Unrated

Patrick: Horrible job you found for yourself, Kathryn. Helping a greedy egotist snatch up beautiful things he has no ability to appreciate.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 12: "Red Rum"

Tamzin Dove: If a friend of mine had done this, they wouldn't have pointed the police right to me with a pentacle and flame. No, Cody's murder was staged to look like wicca. Any fool in this town would think of it. It's obvious misdirection. There's a witch in town. Duh.
Patrick: A witch that put a killing spell on the boy in question.
Tamzin Doe: Exactly. It's perfect.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kimball: Look, a goat. Goats are signs of Satan.
Teresa: So petting zoos are, like, gateways to hell?
Kimball: Pretty much.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Patrick: (while talking to Cody's parents) I have a question. It's always bothered me. Why do they call it football? People don't really use their feet much, do they?
 • Rating: Unrated

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