The Office

The Office Season 6 Quotes (Page 19)

Season 6 Episode 3: "The Promotion"

Kevin: What does a bean mean?
Pam: Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?
Kevin: Michael, what does a bean mean.
Pam: Jim?
Jim: I was just trying to be unbiased.
Kevin: WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN.
Oscar: Would someone please explain to Kevin?
Meredith: Why can't you? My time is just as valuable as yours.
Phyllis: Not according to the beans.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: You know what would help is a pros and cons list for our options. Jim don't take this the wrong way. Are you going to take this the wrong way?
Jim: It's hard to tell so far.
Michael: You use your brain too much.
Jim: I'm sorry are you advocating that I use it less?
Michael: Sometimes the smartest people don't think at all.
Jim: You just came up with that.
Michael: As I was saying it.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Jim: Ok I thought I saw people missing.
Michael: Yeah. Just focus grouping a product expansion idea to these folks. Got one of each.
Jim: Really. Hey Stanley, what was the last thing Michael said before I came through the door.
Michael: Stanley you don't need to answer that.
Jim: Stanley?
Stanley: If you don't smell this you're fired.
Jim: Ok. Michael, I thought we agreed to not take up people's time with meetings like these.
Michael: What do you mean by "these people"?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: If I can just, think this through. If I can just think it exactly right, I can make this perfect. And then I can go down every avenue and every avenue off of that avenue. And then another avenue-
Jim: Michael!
Michael: And then another...
 • Rating: Unrated

Meredith: My kid needs shoes! You wanna tell him he doesn't get shoes!?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Are we idiots? What right, does Jim have to claim authority? Is he as good a salesman as I? Is he as matronly as Phyllis? There are moments where we can affect change. For a few seconds every decade... We exist. These are those seconds! Let us storm his castle. Come on! (Tick.) Let's get him. (Tock.) Let's get Jim! (Tick.) And drag Jim out of his office. (Tock.) Take his keys away from him! (Tick!) That's a clock! The time is getting very close. It's now or never. [screams] What say you!
Phyllis: I say no.
Dwight: No I mean, what do you say to my plan.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: You know there's no easy way to do this. I say we add 1.5 percent to their paychecks and don't say anything about it.
Jim: Do you mean like, break in in the middle of the night and change the numbers on payroll?
Michael: No, we can do it during the day. It doesn't have to be that dramatic, Jim.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: You know it's a myth women have to gain more than nine pounds in a pregnancy. Look at these actresses, some of them lose weight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: You know what eats a large amount of the day? Naps. You go to sleep it's light out, you wake up it's dark. That's the whole day. Where did that day go? I have no idea.
Jim: You mean on a weekend.
Michael: [pause] Yes.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ryan: Heard you guys were looking for cash, for the wedding?
Pam: Yeah, I mean, if it's all the same for you.
Ryan: Question for you. Would you guys rather have a hundred dollars now, or five thousand dollars a year from now.
Pam: A hundred dollars now, for sure.
Ryan: Because you just give me fifty dollars to cover the broker fee. I put in a hundred of my own money, as the gift-
Pam: Yeah, no. I'll uh, the hundred. I'll just take the hundred.
Ryan: Instead of five thousand dollars a year from now?
Pam: How sure is this? [cut to interview] The guy has an algorithm to determine the winner of any given college basketball game. Don't tell Jim.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Creed: Hey, why haven't we ever, uh...
Meredith: We have.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kelly: I love rivalries. Michael or Jim. Paris or Nicole. Heidi or LC. It's so much fun. But, I guess if I'm really thinking about it and answering your question honestly, I'd have to go with LC. Heidi's a bad friend. And her skin, is terrible.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: I deserved that promotion, not Jim. It makes me want to put him in a triangle chokehold, and force him down to the ground and just keep pressing and pressing and then flip him over and put him in a hammerlock! And he's gasping! He's panicking. Every last breath! And the crowd is going crazy. And boom! I emerge victorious! Ah-ha! Eighteen thousand dollars and a chance at the title! Whewhaa!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: People are starting to notice how terrible Jim is. It's great. Eventually they'll rise up and revolt. My only hope is they do it sooner rather than later. If people here were our founding fathers the Revolutionary War would've been delayed ten years. Because Stanley Washington was napping. And Phyllis Hancock was still signing the Declaration. And Kevin Jefferson was distracted by a butterfly.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oscar: Look it doesn't take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. [shakes head] Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be, without the popes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Yesterday, we had a meeting about planets.
Michael: Mmm. Well to be fair, Jim... James. Jimothy? [Jim nods] To be fair, Jimothy, ah that sounds weird. Are you okay with being called Jim?
Jim: I am.
Michael: Alright. Jim, to be fair, the conversation wasn't about planets. At first we were talking about introducing a line of toilet paper. And what part of the human body does one use toilet paper upon? So you draw a line from there to the other planets... and I think by the end we learned a little bit about how small we are.
Jim: Yes, I agree, and-
Michael: Because it's a big universe and we're all just little tiny specks, of dust.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 6 Episode 2: "The Meeting"

Michael: David Wallace and I have talked and we have decided to promote Jim to the position of co-manager.
Stanley: Co-manager of what?
Michael: Of ... your butt!
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: Toby! Dwight! You come to my house? Bust up my trash cans? Call my baby sister an a$$hole and tell her to eat dog food?
Dwight: We thought she was you.
Darryl: How would you think a lady is me?
Dwight: [pause] Are you serious? Because you look exactly alike?
Toby: I don't see it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Toby: [to Darryl's sister] Hey you a$$hole! You eat all that dog food yourself!?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: I tried to keep Michael in the dark. I should have realized he can do just as much damage in the dark.
 • Rating: Unrated

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